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Hopes float: Marriage still key to Saudi women
Published in The Saudi Gazette on 15 - 02 - 2014


Saudi Gazette report
An increasing number of Saudi women are delaying marriage to finish their education and start careers. For many, getting married in their 30s is the norm, a trend that has prompted many women to question the benefits of putting off marriage.
Siham Yusuf turned 26 a few days ago and she often asks herself if she will ever find her knight in shining armor or remain a spinster.
“I come from a conservative family and although fathers don't find suitors for their daughters anymore, my family does reject many suitors. Another problem is that Saudi men prefer young women usually below the age of 25,” she lamented.
Ghadah Ali, 25, has had many suitors ask for her hand in marriage, but she has refused as she wants to continue her education. “I haven't really met anyone who meets my expectations and, sometimes, someone I see as suitable is not what my family necessarily wants. Marriage is destined to make all happy and I know that someone who both my family and I approve of will come along eventually,” she said.
Anisah, an employed Saudi woman who said she was in her 30s, criticized society for having a superficial outlook on marriage. “At the end of the day looks trump education. If women of average beauty are singled out, then it is understandable why they have no desire to marry. At the end of the day, it is important for young women to realize that life will continue whether or not they get married.”
Not all women shared Anisah's point of view, however. Bashayer Fayez, a young Saudi woman, said as she approaches 30, she can't help worry about her future.
“I am deeply saddened that I haven't gotten married yet. I want to experience motherhood and it's frustrating that men prefer young girls in their teens and early 20s. I am happy with what Allah has destined for me,” she said.
Laila Abdulrahman, 33, said all her colleagues are married and they often look down upon her for remaining unmarried.
“I ask myself why no man has come to ask for my hand in marriage. Do I have a health problem? Is it because I'm not beautiful? But I'm closer to beauty than anything else. Is my spinsterhood due to the humble status of my family? I look around myself and see that many of my colleagues who come from even more humble backgrounds are married. I do not even set difficult conditions for suitors and only require that any potential suitor be a pious man who is God fearing,” she said.
Latifa Hadi believes every young woman thinks about the future more than anything else and what bothers her most is that people view unmarried women suspiciously. “What do they expect? Should families start advertising that their daughter wants to marry? Nobody does this, not even in the West, except within certain limits. Like others, I prefer to wait until the right man comes along.”


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