Some women would rather stay single despite an advancing age than settle for less than Mr Right. Sometimes no amount of pressure from family and friends can convince them to settle down until the right man comes along. “If you don't get married to the first man that proposes to you now, you never will,” friends of Maryam, who turned 37 years old recently and is still single, keep telling her. But Maryam has never budged. “I will only get married when Mr Right proposes,” Maryam told Al-Riyadh Arabic daily. Despite growing older, she is patiently waiting for her knight in shining armor with whom she will live happily ever after. Maryam does not want to get married just so people would stop calling her “spinster”. For her, it is too risky to get tied down to the first guy who proposes to her. She wants a real husband and she strongly believes that not being married does not detract either from her character as a human being or her essence as a woman. Maryam is just one of scores of girls who think the same about marriage. These girls believe that marriage is a sacrament that should have a strong foundation. Without this, a girl is better off staying at home without a man by her side. They say that many a girl has paid a hefty price and lived miserable lives, ending up with undeserving men because they accepted the first marriage proposals that came to them. Noorah, who has recently turned 35, told the Arabic language daily: “I'd rather stay at home than marry someone who is not fit for me.” Noorah is a public schoolteacher who volunteers at a women's foundation. She lives a quiet life that she enjoys. Her family thinks she has missed the marriage train and her brothers keep telling her indirectly to find a husband. However, she refuses any intervention in her private life, making some of her friends mad at her. “A 75-year-old man proposed to me. When I asked why he wanted to get married at his age, he said he was looking for a girl to make tea and coffee for him and to talk to him. He felt lonely after his sons and grandsons got married and his wife died.” Noorah believes that marrying for these reasons undermines the sanctity of matrimony. Latifah Muhammad, who is 32, concurs with Noorah. She says that she will not get the ball and chain unless she receives the proper proposal. Latifah is surprised why some families insist on marrying off their daughters to the first man that proposes. Some marriages of this type could only lead to a lifetime of bondage. Dr. Nasser Al-Aloud, professor of social services at Imam Muhammad Bin Saud University, told Al-Riyadh Arabic daily that some girls do prefer to stay unmarried if the right man does not propose to them. But some don't. “However, there are cases where the older the girl gets, the more she is willing to make a compromise when it comes to what she wants in a marriage, as long as at least half of her conditions are met,” Al-Aoud said. “Some girls give in to pressure and decide to get married after all, if only to beat their biological clocks and become mothers, or to get rid of social pressure once and for all,” Al-Aoud added. – SG 1.5 million spinsters in the Kingdom n 1.5 million women in the Kingdom who have reached marriageable age n 1.6 million married women n 4.5 million, the total number of women Recommendations n Easier marriage conditions with regard to dowry and wedding expenses n Giving more powers to marriage officials (Ma'zoun) n Establishing more charitable organizations facilitating marriage and reconciliation n Stricter restrictions on marriage of Saudi youths with non
