Musaad Saeed Al-Bakhat Al-Jazirah The family is the basic social unit of society; it is the institution which looks after children and through which the ethics and traditions of wider society are instilled in their minds. Allah says in the Holy Qur'an: “And of His signs is that He created for you from yourselves mates that you may find tranquility in them; and He placed between you affection and mercy.” (30:21) The Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “The best of you is he who is best to his wife, and I am the best among you to my wives.” He also said: “Treat women kindly,” and said: “He who does not have mercy, Allah will not have mercy upon him.” Domestic violence has become widespread in our society today. There are indications that the problem is growing at an alarming rate and that we need a drastic solution. By domestic violence, I mean the non-Islamic use of force to inflict harm on a member or members of your family. It is not something new. The Chinese civilization was said to suffer from this problem 3,000 years ago when Chinese men used to treat women disrespectfully and deprive them of their financial rights. Domestic violence is not restricted to Saudi society. All societies suffer from this social menace. A Human Rights Watch study showed that 29 percent of Canadian women are victims of domestic violence; this percentage reaches 30 percent for women in the US, 51 percent in France and 61 percent in Morocco. It is wrong to think that only men are behind domestic violence. Women may also be perpetrators. Similarly, it is wrong to think that domestic violence is limited to physical violence. There are several types of violence such as emotional, sexual and financial. Domestic violence has dangerous effects that threaten society. It makes victims lose their self-confidence and become cruel and uncompassionate toward others. This leads to the disintegration of families. When we ask ourselves about the causes of domestic violence, we discover that they can be summed up in the following: low levels of religiosity, domineering behavior, increasing financial and psychological pressure, exposure to violence and pornography in the media, cruel upbringing of children, sexual discrimination between male and female children (something that some ignorant parents engage in), excessive jealousy, alcohol and drugs. All civil institutions and government agencies should work together to curtail domestic violence and ensure the following seven points: negative thoughts should be transformed into positive ones, follow Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), select your partner carefully with more emphasis on the level of religiosity and manners, avoid speaking on deep subjects with one's spouse when tired or stressed, couples should bear in mind the Shariah rights given to their partners, avoid bad company which can negatively affect a person, and always treat others kindly and patiently like the Prophet (pbuh). Those who humiliate others should be ashamed of their actions because these actions go against the teachings of the Holy Qur'an.
