Saudi Gazette If you see your friend's cell phone ringing and flashing the name “Her Majesty” calling, don't think it's the queen calling, it's just his wife's code name in his cell phone. It's a deeply entrenched part of the Saudi culture for a man not to disclose in public the names of his female relatives such as his mother, sister and especially his wife. That's why many Saudi men avoid saving their wives' real names in their mobile phones, out of fear that their wives' names will be known to their male friends or colleagues at work. So if a man wants to inquire about the health of his friend's sick wife for example, it is considered a taboo to ask, “How is Hayfa?” Rather, he should say, “How is your family?” or “How is Umm Bandar?”. Many Saudi men save their wives' numbers in their contact list under code names, such as the mother of the eldest son, or The Dearest. Ayid Al-Shamakh, said, “We were raised from a young age to never mention the names of the women in our family out loud in the presence of stranger men. Partly out of protection, respect, and also a bit of jealousy, I chose not to write my wife's name explicitly in my mobile phone. Instead, I saved her number under Umm Waleed.” Another protective husband, Mansur Hamoud, worries about the consequences if his mobile phone gets lost or stolen, or if a nosy friend holds his phone and scrolls down the list of his contacts. Mansur said, “It is unacceptable in our society for our wives' names to be spoken in the presence of other men, and that extends to the names written in our mobile phones too. So, I use the title My Dearest to save my wife's number.” Depending on the nature of the relationship, men choose different code names for their wives. Some are quite hilarious. One husband named his wife after a cute cartoon because the cartoon reminded him of his wife's talkativeness and bubbly spirit. Another couple chose the wife's secret name together. They picked Barcelona, which is the name of their favorite soccer team. Mondher said, “I adore that soccer team so that goes to show how special my wife is to me. She is happy with that name too and we always laugh about it together as our little secret.” On the other hand, there are other secret names used by husbands which are embarrassing and hold negative connotations. Some of them are plain rude, such as Breaking News or Come Home or worse yet, Oh No. Other men sarcastically attribute titles such as Ministry of Interior or Her Majesty to their wives. Some women may not appreciate this type of humor and may feel hurt seeing such code names being used for them. A professor of sociology at King Saud University, Dr. Saleh Al-Rumaih, commented, “No doubt, we are a conservative society. However, this tradition of hiding the names of our wives has no origin in the history of Islam. In fact, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) was never shy or embarrassed to pronounce the exact names of his wives in public. In my opinion, it should not be regarded as improper to refer to women with their proper maiden names.” However, this practice is a common part of our culture in the Kingdom. As long as the woman in the relationship is comfortable with her label, this practice may be a way to ensure her respect and privacy. __
