An old Jew was standing in front of the Wailing Wall. A TV crew approached him and asked him what he was doing. He said that he is praying for peace among the Jews, Muslims and Christians. They asked him how long has he been praying for this in front of the Wailing Wall. He said: 60 years. He was then asked what the result was. He said: nothing. It's as if I'm taking to a wall. This joke is reasonable, and is not anti-Semitic or racist. However, I noticed that after the invasion of Gaza, and especially after the killing of peace activists in the raid on their Gaza-bound flotilla, I noticed that anti-Semitic or racist jokes increased dramatically in the letters I receive from readers, and even from some friends. But I believe that caution here is a must, so that we do not give the racist Israeli government and the extremists in the lobby and elsewhere an excuse to accuse us of anti-Semitism. I will give one example in order to avoid falling into the trap I am warning against; I read that Hitler killed half of the Jews and left the other half so that people around the world would realize that he was right. But Hitler was not right. He committed a terrible racist crime. For every fascist like Benjamin Netanyahu, Avigdor Lieberman, and Meir Dagan there are tens of ordinary Jews including some in Israel who are in favor of peace and who defend the rights of the Palestinians. For instance, the renowned Israeli writer David Grossman participates in the weekly march in the Sheikh Jarrah neighborhood in Jerusalem in protest against settlement in this Arab neighborhood. He was also injured in a recent attack by the Israeli police against the demonstrators. There is another reason why we should avoid anti-Semitic jokes: The Arabs are an easy target these days. There are many stories accusing them of cowardice or defeat after the 1967 war, and others portraying them as war profiteers after oil prices increased fourfold in the seventies, and then doubled in the early eighties. When it comes to defeat and cowardice, perhaps our consolation is that we share them with the Italians and the French. I once read that the bottom of the Italian fleet is made out of glass so that the sailors can watch the previous Italian fleet. I also read a question which goes: What is the number of Frenchmen needed to defend Paris? Nobody knows because they have never defended it. Also, there is a wisecrack about the Italians, the French and the Arabs that says: what do you call ten thousand men raising their hands? The answer: the Italian army, the French army or the Arab army, depending on the joke teller's racist whim. In England, they accuse the Irish of stupidity, but in America, they consider them lucky and there is the expression ‘the luck of the Irish'. While the Americans prefer to joke about the Poles being stupid, or the equivalent of Arab jokes about Sa'idis [Egyptian rural people], the Homsis or others, the English and the American both agree that the Irish are drunkards. On the other hand, there are many jokes about the Germans and their aggressiveness since Hitler. Recently, I heard a joke about a German who married an Irish woman, and had a son who was so drunk he did not follow orders (in reference to the Nazis who in their trials claimed that they were following orders). I also read: - The sun never sets on the British Empire because God does not trust an Englishman in the dark. - One German: A beer. Two Germans: an organization. Three Germans: A war. - A Pole died after falling to the ground from a window on the tenth floor, while he was ironing the curtains. - An Irish sailor was expelled from the Navy because he slept in a submarine and left the windows open. As for jokes about the Americans, they go well with the size of their country. Perhaps the very mean but true opinion of the shrewd French politician Georges Clemenceau still applies, as he said: America is the only country in the world that moved from barbarism to decadence without the usual interval of civilization. I do not know whether I can tell the Arab readers any jokes about Sa'idis or Homsi jokes that they haven't heard before, but nevertheless I will try. A Sa'idi went to China and worked driving a taxi. Whenever he dropped a passenger to his destination, he would look at him in bewilderment and say: “Didn't I drop you just earlier?” This perhaps resembles another joke when an Egyptian went to Sudan at night but could not see anyone. As for the Homsi, he won the grand prize in the lottery and told his wife, who then died of joy. He then said: “Praise God! Good things all come at once”. Meanwhile, a Salti, who is equivalent in Jordan to the Homsi or the Sa'idi, was told by his son “I want to study outside [Abroad]. He said: “Tell your mother to put a seat for you in the backyard, and cover yourself well because it is cold”. Since I started with Israel, I will venture and conclude with it. There is a joke that goes: what does a Mexican do if he wanted to eat stuffed chicken? He first steals a chicken. The Israeli version would go: What does an Israeli do when he wants to get married? He first steals the home of a Palestinian family. Finally, and this is okay because it is about Israel not the Jews: Israel is Hitler's revenge against the world. And also: not all the members of the Israeli cabinet deserve to be executed. Some deserve to be stoned. [email protected]
