Ever since I became aware of the world, jokes about stupidity in the Arab world almost always involved Sa'idis [people from the countryside], Homsis, Kurds or Musilis. When I grew up and travelled, I discovered that the English tell jokes about the stupidity of the Irish, and that Americans target the Poles with similar jokes, while many Europeans, especially the French, consider the Belgians to be the “Homsis” of Europe. If the reader were to examine the per capita income in Europe, however, he or she would discover that this income in Belgium is one of the highest there, and that it is higher than that of France. As for the Sa'id, Homs and Musil, these regions have spawned some of the most prominent national leaders, and as such, the jokes told probably apply more to their tellers than to the people these involve; perhaps it is envy or spite then that are at the heart of these jokes, and perhaps both. It is the season for what is politically correct these days, as jokes that involve a particular people or city dwellers are considered to be racist, and those who tell them could risk becoming social undesirables. For this reason, we no longer hear jokes told in the West about the Irish (the Americans do not share the British view of the stupidity of the Irish, and rather celebrate the luck of the Irish), or about the Poles or the Belgians; instead, I now read jokes about stupidity that are for instance attributed to the people of an inexistent country. I will attempt through the jokes I have collected about idiots today, to follow in the footsteps of “haughty” people and stay away from offending the traditional laughingstocks, although some of these jokes are difficult to attribute to other peoples. For example, one man asked: Are Sheikh Abdul Baset Abdul Samad and Sheikh Abu-el-Aynayn Shu'ayshi' brothers [members of the Muslim Brotherhood]? And the answer he gets is: No, they just have similar names. Such a joke for example can only be attributed to a Sa'idi. Another example: The doctor advises a patient to exercise, and suggests that he walks ten kilometres each day. The patient then calls him after a while, and the doctor asks him where he is. The patient then says: in Aleppo. This joke is obviously Homsi. Then there is also a joke about a Kurd, and the six demons around him: one to tempt him, and five to explain it to him. Without a reference to anyone, we can add the following [jokes]: - A man says that his right eye is hurting him and when he opens it he sees black spots. Another then asks him: did you see an ophthalmologist? The man answers: No, I only saw black spots. -A man asks: Is India far from here? Another man answers: I don't think so; we have an Indian colleague and he comes to work every day on a bicycle. -A man was asked: What do you think of early marriage? The man answers: early? At what time do you mean? - A boy asks his mother: Mom, when my friends grow up, who am I going to play with? - A couple could not have children, and so they adopted an Indian child, they then started learning Hindi so they can understand him when he grows up. - An idiot to the grocer: do you have sugar [Ar. Pun = Diabetes]? The grocer says: Yes. The idiot answers: May God heal you. - A man entered a shop that sells glasses and asked the saleswoman to show him some; She asked him: for the sun? The man answers: No, for me. -A teacher asked a young boy what he will become when he grows up, the child answers: an old man, of course. The above reminds me of some students in a school, which is clearly not Arab: A policeman enters the classroom, and tells the young pupils that a pervert has been spotted in the area, and that he wants the children to be cautious until he is captured. When the policeman showed them a picture of the pervert, they asked: why did you not arrest him when you took his picture? In another school, a teacher tried to take advantage of her psychological knowledge to deal with her young students. She asked for anyone who thinks of themselves to be stupid to stand up. A while later, a student stood up and the teacher asked him: do you consider yourself to be stupid? He answered: no, but I did not want you to be the only one standing. This is similar to the story of the teacher who asked the young students to draw a donkey. One of them then said: please leave the class so we can't cheat. In the end, I want to say that I have friends from Homs, where the men are smarter than I am, and the women are prettier. I also have friends from Musil, where men are also smarter than I am, and the women are...from Musil. The same applies to the Sa'id, and Kurdistan-Iraq; while I appreciate many Iraqi officials, my personal opinion is that the smartest Iraqi citizen is President Jalal Talabani, or Mam Jalal. One of the latter's hobbies is to tell jokes about himself centred around stupidity, while he is laughing at everyone, and I have previously quoted some of what I heard him say to the readers so I will not repeat that here today.
