IN the last issue (May 1), we listed out 81 ways to win your wife's love. This list, mostly contributed by Muslim women at the MuslimMatters.org blog, is all about winning your husband's love. 1. Behave like a female, i.e. with all the tenderness of a female. 2. Dress pleasantly and attractively. If you are a home-maker, don't stay in your sleeping suit all day. 3. Smell good. 4. Don't lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break. 5. Don't keep asking him ‘what are you thinking?' because unlike women, men's thoughts are as random as the results of a google search. Women on the other hand have thoughts as organized as a labeled file-cabinet! 6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah gives you something really to complain about. 7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone you meet under the pretense of seeking help, even if you are the victim. If you think you want to solve legitimate marital issues then go seek counseling with the right person. 8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like your husband to be kind to your own mother. 9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam. 10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were waiting for him. Smile and hug. 11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it. 12. Compliment him on the things you know he's not so confident about (looks, intelligence etc). This will build his self-esteem. 13. Tell him he's the best husband. 14. Call his family often. 15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him when he does it. This will encourage him to do more. 16. When he's talking about something boring, listen and nod your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you're interested. 17. Encourage him to do good deeds. 18. If he's in a bad mood, give him some space. He'll get over it, Insha Allah. 19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter. It's a big deal. 20. If he's angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out while you're quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot faster. Then when he's calm, you can tell him your side of the story and how you want him to change something. 21. When you're mad at him, don't say ‘you make me furious,' rather say, ‘this action makes me upset.' Direct your anger to the action and circumstance rather than at him. 22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into consideration. 23. Let him chill out with his friends without guilt, especially if they're good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn't feel cooped up at home. 24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and you can control it), then stop doing it. 25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings. 26. Don't get mad over small things. It's not worth it. 27. Make jokes. If you're not naturally funny, find some jokes on the internet. 28. Tell him you're the best wife and compliment yourself on certain things you know you're good at. 29. Learn to make his favorite dish. 30. Don't ever, ever talk bad about him with friends or family unnecessarily. 31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you're a housewife, take online classes and be active in your community. This will not only make you happy but will impress your husband too. 32. Do all of the above (i.e. trying to please your husband) for the sake of Allah and you will see Allah's blessings in every thing you do. 33. Spouses are garments for each other; hide your husband's faults and help him get over them wisely. 34. Tell your husband you love him, many many times. 35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you are much fitter than him. 36. Be fit and take care of your health; you will remain a strong mother, wife, cook and housekeeper. 37. Cultivate good manners. Do not be too loud, whether while laughing, talking or even walking. 38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly not without his knowledge. 39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so they always look fresh and crisp. 40. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of compassion and love between the two of you, every day in every prayer. Truly Satan's most treasured act is to create rifts between couples to the point of divorce. Seek Allah's refuge from Satan. 41. They say the way to a man's heart is through his stomach, and that's really true. 42. Make sure you always have something for dinner. 43. Brush your hair everyday. 44. Don't forget to do the laundry. 45. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities can be gifts, like a pair of new shoes. 46. Listen to him when he's talking. Don't interject him and talk about your own issues. 47. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies (bowling?). Try not to go shopping too much and spend all his money. 48. Look attractive and it's fine, in fact good, to be seductive towards him. 49. Learn tricks and techniques to please your husband in intimacy. 50. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner and exclusive time (no children permitted). 51. Take care of your skin, especially the face, which is the center of attraction. 52. If you are not satisfied intimately, talk to him and help him. Don't wait till matters become worse. 53. Never discuss important or controversial matters with him when he is tired or sleepy. Find the right time for the right discussion. 54. Learn to compromise. 55. Continue to do things for your husband and don't take him for granted. 56. Respect his rights (he's your road to paradise). 57. Make tea for him or whatever hot drink he likes, it will soothe his rough edges.
