The world can sometimes be a cruel place for children, whether it is bullying or name-calling or being laughed at or criticized. Children face challenging situations that will either become opportunities for personal growth and maturity or painful moments that eat away at their self-esteem and their image of themselves.
Even though parents wish that they could protect their children from hurt, pain, and heartache, they cannot. You cannot be with your child at all times to tell him what the right decision is, or to remind him of his praiseworthy qualities.
What you can do is provide your child with a good moral upbringing, so that his own set of values and beliefs will direct him. You can help to boost his self-confidence so that he has the guts to stick to his morally right decision, even if his friends disagree.
It is his inner voice that will tell him that it is wrong to cheat on the exam. It is his strong faith that will remind him to pray, even when he is away from his parents. It is her unwavering self-confidence that will help her stand up for herself and say “No” when her peers pressure her to try cigarette smoking.
Some kids find it difficult to accept direct praise and compliments (they think that you are just saying those nice things because you are their parent and you have to say loving words).
Your tactics for bolstering their faith and self-esteem should sometimes be more subtle.
Here are 28 way to increase kids' self-confidence and faith.
1. Praise your child, but not to her face. Rather, speak about her in a pleasant manner to someone else, like her dad or your friend, when she thinks you do not know that she is listening.
2. Do not allow her to criticize herself, for example by saying remarks like “I'm so stupid” or “I'm fat.”
3. Use “please” and “thank you” when dealing with your children.
4. Encourage her to make her own decisions, starting out with simple choices like what to wear and gradually progressing to more important matters, such as how much time she needs to study for exams or what major she will choose in university.
5. Enroll your children in swimming lessons from an early age.
6. Reserve a shelf on the bookcase in the living room where you put on display some of your child's awards, drawings, certificates, trophies, poetry, and other honorary accolades.
7. Teach your child how to pray and let her see you perform your daily prayers. Dedication to the prayer and finding solace in this spiritual connection is a key factor in an individual's ability to cope with stress in life.
8. Teach your child how to read instructions for a given task and how to follow through on her own, with minimal help from you.
9. Answer your children's questions, no matter how many they are or how bizarre they may seem, or in some cases, how embarrassing. And if you do not know the answers, do some research together.
10. For the older kids, enroll them in a first aid course.
11. If you make a promise, keep it.
12. Invite your child to help out in the kitchen and teach him basic cooking skills like frying an egg, making a sandwich, or baking a simple cake.
13. Pass on to your child the belief in the power of supplicating, making duaa to Allah.
14. Encourage your child to ask questions.
15. Promote in your child a team spirit.
16. Be there for your youngster on her first day of school. Be an active participant in her activities. Show up to your children's school plays or soccer matches or spelling bee or poetry recital competition.
17. Whenever possible, explain the reasons for some of your major decisions. 18. Ask your child's opinion or even advice on certain situations.
19. Tell them stories from your childhood. They love hearing the funny and goofy things that you used to do when you were a kid.
20. Teach your child to say “no” when asked by anyone - whoever it may be- to do something that goes against his morals and values.
21. Show your child how to give to others.
22. Spark your child's interest in reading, learning, and exploring.
23. Give your child money as a weekly or monthly allowance, and occasionally ask her to pay for some of the things that she wants. That helps teach children how to save money.
24. Show interest in your child's ambitions, dreams, and goals, and always tell your child to dream big.
25. Shape your child into a responsible individual, for example by asking him to pick up his toys after playing with them, or taking his plate to the sink after dinner, and being responsible enough to do homework and study.
26. Teach your child how to read the Holy Qur'an.
27. Apologize, say sorry, when you make a mistake, and she will follow suit. 28. Tell your child that you love her.
As parents, we reckon that with all the scrambling around we do for our kids: chauffeuring them to and from school or to their friend's house, buying them gifts, cooking their favorite dishes, helping with science fairs and art exhibitions, and countless other things, that they ought to know already that we love them so much.
Still, they need to hear it. Say, “I love you”, and hug your son and daughter to your heart.
Breathe in a whiff of that amazing fragrance of their hair that is a mixture of sweat, fruity shampoo, and chocolate; it is lovelier than the most expensive French perfume.
