Dr. Khaled M. Batarfi Samia went to a job interview in a respectable company in Jeddah. The Arab manager, who met her, was interested in her qualifications, and had so many questions about her studies, hobbies and interests. The interview that started at 4 p.m. ended well after 5 p.m. When it was time to conclude, the office was empty and all staff were gone, except for the manager. He was nice all along, but suddenly became too nice. Comments about her dress and physical looks became more elaborate. He also demonstrated how he could help her get a good position, and receive training courses, travel opportunities, and a fast track to higher levels. Feeling uncomfortable, she wanted to leave. “My husband has just arrived, and is waiting for me with the kids in the car,” she announced. The manager didn't believe her. Closing the office door behind him, he tried to hug and kiss. “I felt more powerful than I thought, pushed him in a sudden move, and run to the door. He was shocked, like he didn't believe I would resist him. When he caught my hand, pretending to apologize, I pushed him again, and run to the main door. Thanks God he didn't follow, because I was prepared to commit a crime, then and there! Weeks after, I was still shaken. Anger, disgust and insecurity made me reluctant to look for another job. If this could happen in a respectable and famous international company, then what would I expect in lesser ones?” “Why didn't she report him?,” I wondered. “In our society, a woman is guilty even if she didn't provoke the attack,” she explained. “Questions would be asked about what I was wearing, how I presented myself, why I stayed late in his office, why would a cultured, educated and handsome Lebanese do this to a married Saudi woman? “My reputation would have been tinted, beyond repair! My family, husband and little daughters would be embarrassed. And I would end up going back and forth to police stations and courts! That is if my relatives did not take the shortcut and attack the man physically. I won't blame them, that what I thought of doing so myself! “I am not alone in this and believe that is the case with most sexual abuses. The weakest members of society, women and children, just accept it or fight it on their own, asking for no help and paying for it — in full.” Fortunately, not all cases ended the same way. Aesha did go to her husband when her boss would take no for an answer. He kept sending her sexual jokes and video clips, using both corporate and private mail accounts. When her husband went to the boss to discuss the matter, the manager almost threw him out. The husband went directly to the chairman and showed him the evidence. The chairman didn't hesitate a second. Her boss was fired right away, without compensation. A circular went to all females in the company to assure them of their fundamental rights and provide them with a hotline to the chairman. A policy of zero tolerance to sexual harassment was announced and activated. What do you think, dear readers? How a woman should react in such a case? What is the responsibilities of society, law and organizations? What should we do to break the victims' silence, and deal with their shame and fear? Here are your comments on last Tuesday article “Don't touch me!” By the way, the victim was my son. Obvious “It is very obvious for police not to see sex offenders prowling in Jeddah streets, when they can easily be seen riding black tinted cars on the prowl for would be victims. There should be a stand by unmark patrol car in each and every venue where families or crowds gather in places like the beaches, corniche and the like. Once caught, they should be jailed for a good period of time so that they will realize how they are a scourge to children and society.” Manong Great advice “Learning self defense techniques should be made compulsory in schools. Also they should be taught about probable sensitive incidents that may happen around them.” Ayaz Life is to be lived! “It's sad that this boy had undergone a bad experience. He must get over it and set new positive goals for himself. There are good and bad people all over the world. All of us should reject the bad and accept the good.” Irfan Ahmed Unbelievable! “I just do not believe this story. It reeks of fairy tale stupidity and is very poorly written.” Faustus Pac Well raised topic! “Parents should keep an open discussion from time to time to inform and warn their children of these foul plays, while giving them courage to share their fears, inquiries and experiences. Children should be brought up in a very loving family ambiance. A child should feel free to ask anything at any time without any restrictions and fear.” Maria – Dr. Khaled M. Batarfi can be reached at [email protected] and followed on Twitter: @kbatarfi
