Dr. Khaled M Batarfi The young husband was asked: Why do you hit your wife? His answer shocked every listener. “Her father and brother used to hit her, so why not me?!” This was not an average, poorly educated man, in a remote, desert town. This was a doctoral student graduating with his wife from a top British university. Domestic violence, ladies and gentlemen, is not a problem limited to some certain kind of people, with a certain kind of profile. A famous Islamic TV presenter was recently caught in one of the worst kind of child abuse. He molested his daughter for years, before the divorced mother found out and reported him.
Some women, as well, are guilty of unbelievable cruelty that ended in death or deformation of their victims. Drug and alcohol abuse are to be blamed in many cases, but not all. Psychological problems with parents are some of the reasons found. Others include cruel family traditions. Children and women are treated in some areas as properties and slaves, where the only way to raise them properly and guarantee their obedience and respect is to use force and drive fear into their hearts! While most tend to be ignorant and live in poor or less developed areas, many are well educated and city dwellers. Some may have come from primitive backgrounds, but many are from civilized societies. This means we are faced with a phenomenal problem that needs immediate, strong and comprehensive response. The law against domestic violence that was passed by the Council of Ministers recently is a historical step in the right direction. However, we do need social, societal and psychological studies that explain the problem and explores the solutions. We need to change attitudes and underlying convictions in hearts and minds. Islam prohibits the mistreatment of women and children, and Prophet Mohammed (peace be upon him) sets the best example in respect and kindness to them. We could use this to propagate the Islamic values via media, schools and mosques. The new law should be activated immediately and forcefully. Hotlines and safe homes should be provided for victims. Courts must take strong and prompt verdicts against abusers, and media should publish them to warn would-be abusers. Let's share thoughts on this, dear readers. What do you think society and government should do to protect women and children against domestic violence? Here are some of your thoughts about last Tuesday's article “Women--Our “unspoken issue”!”
Leave women alone please!! “I fail to understand why on earth Saudis cannot leave women alone? Why they cannot let them do what they like to do? And, above all why are they so possessive about women? I think Saudi men should look around and see how women are treated just outside the boundary of their country. Unless Saudis learn to accept women as their partners instead of subservient, they will continue to be mentally disturbed - and will not know peace. So please let women live their life.” Faiz Al-Najdi The only issue is driving! “Dear readers, I have noticed everybody bang on ladies driving in KSA. Is this the only issue left to be discussed? Can't you look over other critical issues like education, medical etc... get a life.” Abdulmateen Reconsider our values! “The woman has always been an issue in every society. She was always considered inferior. She may be pampered due to her gender qualities and attractions but always been degraded when important issues come up. There is a dire need for change in the mentalities, concepts and attitudes of menfolk and also of women to start reconsidering their status and values in society. Women need to build a new place for themselves and for coming generation in the society to honor their gender.” Maria Khan Male responsibility! “It is the responsibility of males to encourage the activities of women which are beneficial to our society, so that coming generation will be self sufficient in every aspect.” Jim Hospital policy and cultural gender issues “As a UK foreigner I have come across many challenging gender issues since marring my Saudi wife. Recently my wife gave birth and the week she spent in hospital in Riyadh became a quagmire of challenging both male and female cultural stereotypes as well as hospital policy. Initially I was told it would be okay to stay with my wife during the pregnancy but staff did everything they could culturally think of to deter me. This is one area where Saudi society needs to change in public hospitals.” Ramon Mohamed Children of Saudi women “Why should the children of Saudi women have to live like foreigners in their motherland. They should be allowed Saudi nationality just like the children of Saudi men from non-Saudi women.” Saudi Mother Sharing decisions! “Are men afraid to lose their 'power' over women? Some men do not always make the best decisions. Maybe women should start sharing in the decision-making process. Sounds as though some areas of the population would be much happier!” Ann – Dr. Khaled M Batarfi can be reached at [email protected] and followed on Twitter: @kbatarfi
