Shahd Alhamdan Saudi Gazette JEDDAH – Problems unwittingly occur in marriages. And among many ways to resolve the dispute between couples, one way is to seek the advise of an experienced marriage counsellor. However, Saudi men refuse to visit marriage counsellors for a myriad reasons, the most prominent being pride, conservative, and fear. In an article entitled “Top 5 Reasons Men Refuse to Go to Counseling, “was published by Kurt Smith in 2010, the author illustrated that the five reasons that prevent men from visiting counsellors are their nature; men are mature problem solvers so it's uncomfortable for them to ask for help; their culture, their pride because men care about their image in front of others; the fear of changing, and the fear of not being in control. Men also do not want to feel inferior in front of others, another reason for them to avoid counseling sessions. An Egyptian psychiatrist said: “Men refuse to visit a marriage counselor because of their pride. “They also do not want to feel inferior, they do not want to be empathized." Saudi national Abeer Makkie, who recently got engaged, said: “Men feel uncomfortable when people tell them they are not perfect." Lack of education is also one of the many reasons that prevent men from seeking a counselors help to save their marriages. Ahmed Mohammed (name changed), who is married and a mechanical engineer by profession, said: “Men who refuse to visit counselors lack education and do not appreciate the concept of marriage." The traditional and conservative mindset of some Saudi men also play an integral role in obstructing them from seeking advise from an unknown person. Rosaina Ahmed, a Saudi dentist, said: “I think men who refuse to seek couple therapy have chauvinist thinking and they destroy their lives with their own hands." Others are more open and willing to seek help from a marriage counselor, if ever they experience trouble in their marital bliss. Saudi Gazette spoke with Nesreen Bukhari, a marriage counselor and the owner of a guidelines center, on why men hesitate to visit counselors. Bukhari said that fear is the main cause that prevents men from getting counseled. “Married men are usually afraid of sharing their marriage secrets. She added: “However, 50 percent of recently married couples accept to go to a marriage counsellor and recently means a marriage that lasted for ten years, while 80 percent of the new married couples accept the idea of going to a counsellor." “Basil Khalid, an engaged Saudi in his mid twenties, said: “I would go to a counselor if there is a problem because just like how a doctor treats physical problems, counselors treat family problems.
