Joud Al-Amri Saudi Gazette JEDDAH – The wedding is long over. The couple could not save their marriage and it ended in a divorce. If one asks why, there could be numerous reasons, some more convincing than others. However, if the issues leading to a divorce are examined, it can be noted that debt may be a strong underlying cause of many divorces. A number of young men and women, in their desire to get married, do not make allowances for the amount of debt they will accumulate, nor are they aware that they will start their life together in debt. Generally, this is due to the husband's borrowing a large amount of money in order to pay the dowry and other expenses of a wedding. One such man, Muhammad Salim, said that he started his marital life in debt. His love for his wife compelled him to borrow money in order to pay her dowry, wedding costs and start a home. Despite advice to not rush the wedding and wait until he had saved enough money, Salim got married. Unable to bear the financial burdens in their marriage, the couple divorced after their first child. Newlywed Hadeel Ali said her husband had to borrow over SR20,000 in order to pay for their marriage. Now, the couple have a baby, which adds to their financial difficulties. Her husband refuses to rely on his family for finances and tries to be responsible for his wife and little daughter. Many people said couples who marry young are often unaware of the financial responsibilities marriage entails. 20-year-old Nooran Ameen said the idea age for a man to get married is after 30 and 25 for a woman. “After 30, men become financially stable and after 25, women become mature enough to shoulder responsibility. For me, money is a means, not an end. But in the beginning, the husband has to pay money to buy necessary things for the wedding, then pay rent, utility bills and later, child expenses. This is why I refuse to get married to someone who is financially incapable of bearing wedding and marital life costs," she said. Marriage counselor Hassan Safar said there are several foundations that help young men get married. Safar encouraged those who are financially incapable of marriage to go to such foundations for help. According to Abu Bakur Baqadir, however, although some foundations and institutions lend young men loans to get married, these foundations and institutions seek to profit from the loans. “Some feel that marriage in the past was easier on the pocket than it is today. In the past, relatives of the prospective groom would lend him a certain amount of money to help him cover marriage expenses. The neighbors of the husband would further cover the expenses of the wedding banquet," said Baqadir while lamenting that these habits have died out today. Safar added that clerics, scholars and the media should play a role in educating the general public about Islamic views on extravagant wedding expenses, and how Islam discourages such practices by emphasizing simplicity.
