Getting married is one of the most important decisions a person will make in his or her life, both on the personal and financial levels. Getting married also affects people financially and can burden people with debt. In such marriages, those generally affected in a negative fashion tend to be women rather than men. However, among the highly educated young middle class, it is possible that both men and women are equally guilty. One would have to delve into all the recent marital disputes involving modern couples to see whether it is the man who is to blame for not contributing equally to the household or the woman. There is also another type of young couple – the ones who rush to marry because they believe they are ready for long-term commitment. Such couples are, unfortunately, at high risk of facing difficulties. Such couples are more likely to divorce than couples who marry later in life. Such couples have more issues to face, including financial burdens, family pressure and maturity issues. Muhammad Salem is in his 30s. His marital life began with huge debts. He said he loved his wife a lot and was afraid to lose her. This left him with no choice but to borrow money to pay the dowry and meet other marriage expenses. He was thus overburdened by debt at a young age. He said his mother had repeatedly advised him to not rush into things, but he turned a deaf ear to all her advice. He said he was blessed with a son but regrets that his marriage did not last long as the debts shattered his rosy dreams. He said the pressures of life made his wife lose patience and so they eventually separated. Ahmad Othman went through similar difficulties. He, however, did not divorce his wife and has an eight-year-old child. “I'm leading a very miserable life because of my debts,” he said. He said his debts have turned his life into a living hell, especially since he used to dream of providing his son with a good education at a prestigious international school in the city. His dreams are shattered and the debts have left an irreparable rift in his marital life. Hadil Ali, a newly married 27-year-old woman, described her marital life as very difficult as it is full of responsibilities but her deep love for her husband makes her forget about everything. She said her husband has had to repay huge debts, something that has left her feeling insecure, especially since she has recently given birth to a baby girl. She added that her husband has rejected any help from his family, because he wants to be independent. Rania Saeed, a 25-year-old, said she will never in her wildest dreams marry a man who is in debt, adding that she has received proposals but will only marry someone who has money saved. She added that she rejects the idea of living according to a standard that is not equal to her current one. Fatima Sabahi said, “I feel uncomfortable with the squabbling over the division of duties between husbands and wives, and the reasons are personal. My experience was very different. For my husband and me sharing came naturally. When it came to my earnings, I spent as well as saved. My husband never asked me how much of it I spent and how much I saved. Now when I look back, I think we spent about 90 percent of his salary and about 60 to 70 percent of mine - my salary was less than half of his.” Dr. Hassan Safr said Islam urges and encourages young people to marry but this is linked to one's physical and financial abilities, adding that there are charities that extend financial aid to the youth to enable them to marry. He also urged furniture shops to help newly married couples and ensure they do not fall into debt. He said imams in mosques have a great role to play by devoting a part of their sermons to the youth to enlighten and educate them on how to lead a happy marriage life, something that will reflect on their children and the way they bring them up. He added that it should be taken into consideration that their offspring are going to be the future generation who will build this country. “They also need to avoid lavish spending on marriage parties because this will plunge them into huge debts and will make their lives difficult in the future. We should always remember that our religion urges us to be moderate in all walks of life and refrain from extravagance, as it forbids extravagance,” he said. __
