THE decision to select your marital partner, who will be sharing all details of your life, is a difficult one. May be it is the most difficult decision in a person's whole life. That decision will change his/her life or make it upside down if it was not done carefully and with the seriousness it deserves. The life is full of surprises, which we cannot predict beforehand. We are all liable to face accidents but many of us do not know how to deal with it wisely. The selection of partner leads to the formation of a natural family, which can contribute to the society's development. Some couples increase the woes of the society and make it sick and corrupt due to wrong selection and practices. As a result I would like to reiterate here that marriage is not a simple and easy matter and we should have a different and serious approach toward it. If anybody thinks that it is a simple matter he would be contributing to the creation of mentally deranged families who harm the society through their foolishness. You are not supposed to marry a man or woman blindly. Every one of us should select his/her life partner with extreme care in order to realize our personal desires and expectations, without solely depending on parents' desires. We have noticed that hasty and courteous marriage decisions have created endless problems. We know that our parents and grandparents have succeeded in their marriage experiments. But our age is totally different from theirs. One cannot expect that his wife would be a photocopy of his mother who brought him up. You may not find the qualities you were expecting in your wife if she was selected by your mother and you did not express your opinion during the marriage proposal and you considered the mother's selection as part of doing goodness to parents. When you sit beside the bride at the wedding night, you expected everything would be fine and your wife would love you and impress your through her behavior and actions. Some people have decided not to marry seeing the large number of divorces and the problems surrounding it such as the court battle for the possession of children and payment of alimony, disintegration of children and family violence. Our society cannot accommodate more such separated wives and husbands and the problems and social burdens it entails. A person should be aware of his big responsibility before marrying a woman. He has to select a partner having the same taste and opinion, in order to lead a happy and prosperous married life. Marriage is not for procreation alone. It becomes successful when both husband and wife support one another and contribute to the realization of their long-term goals. If a woman does not like the man who wanted to marry her, she has to express her dislike openly, even if her parents force her to marry him, in order to protect her future. Women should know that a day will come when they have to protest against their homes, husbands and society. Before taking a final decision on the marriage you have to put your conditions clearly such as you want to complete your education or continue in your job or you should have a separate home. If you feel that the man you selected cannot be trusted then don't think of making an adventure. Both the bride and groom have to make use of their opportunities before reaching a final marriage contract and they have to express their desires and expectations from marriage and have to follow the partnership principle of sharing 50 percent responsibility. A man who wants to marry a woman should understand that she is an independent being who has a personality and identity as well as her own desires. Some mothers teach their sons wrong things and the latter want to impose those teachings on their wives. They believe that the main purpose of marriage is procreation and that it is the duty of wife to make her husband happy. There are people who think that they are doing a great service to the wife's family by marrying their daughter. I would like to advise those youth who consider wives as their property and who do not find any problem in stealing her salary, harassing her and denying her basic rights, they should not marry because they would be trying to impose modern slavery on their wives and their women would be looking for ways to run away from them rejecting incentives and enticements.
