Though the first five years of a child's life are the most influential in shaping his or her character and behavior, many mothers are oblivious of this and inclined not to discipline their young children, Al-Riyadh newspaper reported. Dr. Salwa Al-Majali, professor in early childhood education at Riyadh's Princess Noura Bint Abdulrahman University, said most child experts are unanimously agreed on the importance of the first five years in a child's life. "They base their opinion on many studies that have been conducted in the field and which has produced the same results. If a child lives in an environment full of experiences, whether negative or positive, his neurological system will develop and shape his or her personality based on these experiences," said Al-Majali. "Parents should not, by any means, underestimate the significance of the first five years of a child's life. It is during this period that the child will store and memorize everything he or she learns. If the child is taught the right ethics and skills, he or she will grow up to be a good and effective human being," she added. Shariah obligates parents to instill in their children good conduct and values. They should be kind, teach Islamic ethics and never force or intimidate their children. "A child's physical, cognitive, social and emotional growth is considered important, and affects children's personality development. They are interrelated and should be given special attention by all parents and educators because they later turn children into good citizens," said Al-Majali. "Unfortunately, most parents focus on physical and cognitive factors and overlook the other aspects; this has a great toll on a child's personality and inclinations," she added. Although modern life is challenging for most parents who wish to raise their children to be healthy and good citizens, the modern age also "provides us with fast and easy tools to achieve our goals." The most important thing here is to decide how and when the tools should be utilized and decide how much they can help in properly raising children. Ghada Al Asheikh, an educational adviser at a kindergarten, agrees that the first five years of a child's life are important. "There is unanimity among educational experts and scholars on this fact. It is during these years that a child develops the most important skills in his or her life," said Al Asheikh. Parents should acknowledge the fact that each child has rights and they should respect these rights and exert effort to understand them. "For example, parents must spend sufficient time with their children, encourage and love them and always show them they are the best," she added. Naif Al-Qurashi, a professor of education at Umm Al-Qura University, said a child can sometimes be stubborn and refuse to listen. "Parents' job is not to help the child stop being stubborn but to reduce the effect of stubbornness," he said, adding that giving instructions without any options makes children stubborn. "If you say things like: go make your bed now, or go immediately to your room and sleep, it is highly likely that the child will ignore you. The best solution is to create a system and make the child develop a habit of getting used to it. He or she should be asked to make his or her bed when waking up, for example," he said. "Parents may punish their children if they refuse to tidy their room and say they simply don't feel like it. This is wrong. We should let our children express their feelings and not force them to do things they do not want to do. We should not always expect them to be compliant. No matter what, we should kiss them and be kind and gentle to them," he said.
