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Is your teen ready for college?
Published in The Saudi Gazette on 25 - 12 - 2015

Time passes by so fast. I still remember those adorable moments when my baby boy got his first tooth and when he took his first steps, before falling down. I watched him play, walk, run, grow, and then came the first day of school and everyone in the family was excited.
Time passed again and here my son is getting ready to go to college, but did we as parents prepare him for this entirely new experience? Is he ready for the first step in his life as an independent teenager?
Preparing our children for university is a process that could begin years earlier as it involves academics, character, finances, and many other life skills.
Academics
First, parents should stress the importance of working hard at school so the teenager will have multiple choices of universities and a better chance of earning an academic scholarship.
Successful university students are not created overnight. Honestly, there is no set schedule that parents prescribe for their children, but preparing in advance for university admittance allows your teenager to select the right courses, get involved in activities, clubs, and volunteering. Your student should cultivate meaningful and respectful relationships with teachers at high school so they can help him/her throughout this important process. Parents can encourage their teenager to make decisions that will make him/her an efficient student.
Determine what type of education your teenager wants and if that meets his skills or not. Selecting a university is one of the first steps and the choice should be based on their individual needs and talents. It is important to consider what he/she hopes to achieve and which career they will pursue after graduation.
Additionally, parents should teach their teenagers how to balance academics with extra-curricular activities. It is important that a teenager experiences academics, social activities, and fun, but in a healthy balanced way.
What many parents are unaware of is that universities are interested in students who are well rounded and who have done volunteering work and community service. Most importantly, check the application deadlines for the universities that your teen is interested in.
One more element linked to academics is to highlight their strengths. Encourage your teenager to participate in activities and to attend forums, seminars, and symposiums. Help her use her skills and talents and channel those gifts into something productive. If he/ she is good at graphics this could be used to learn how to design websites or advertisements or to advocate positive change on social media. If your teen is good with art, she can make decorations for festivals or ceremonies at her school or community.
Character
The character of each one of us is formed throughout days, months, and years, influenced by diverse factors: inherent nature, family, environment, and experiences. However, the teenager's character is still somehow malleable and could be changed and affected by the new experience of university and meeting with a variety of students from varied environments and backgrounds.
Parents should coach their teenagers on how to respond in the face of challenges. And let them know what is to be expected of them in college, and the responsibilities they will have.
Making new friends is one of the biggest issues for most students. Set a good example. Making new friends and keeping in touch with old ones should be seen in the family so the teenager can spontaneously do the same. Speak with your son or daughter about the criteria of what makes a good friend. A teenager also has to learn the art of self-discipline, to be able to organize his time, schedule, and budget.
It is worth getting the teenager ready for a professional environment, beginning with email etiquette that is essential to work and university life. Unlike the texting that teenagers use on social media channels, he/she should know that most lecturers will expect a level of formality in emails, writing "Dear" instead of "Hi" and the importance of replying to emails within 24 hours. These seem to be minor tips, however, it will set them up well for the working world.
Among all that, the most precious help parents can give their teenagers is emotional support, and helping them remain firm in their faith and connection to Allah.
Although there is no uniform in college, you should advise your teenager that especially as Muslims, they need to dress in comfortable, decent, modest, and acceptable clothes.
Budget
It is very significant to know how to run his/her daily and monthly budget especially if they join university in another city or country. They have to manage their budget rationally, so they do not go broke in the middle of the month.
Parents should explain the importance of saving and having an emergency fund just in case something unexpected comes up. If he/she will be living away and paying for groceries and books, then budgeting is a life lesson that needs to be instilled before heading off to university.
It is a good idea to have your teenager record all of his/her expenses - even the tiny ones. In a small pocket notebook or phone application, have her log in everything she spent money for all day. Have her practice this for a couple of months and then sit down together and develop a budget. This will help ensure realistic numbers in the budget.
On the whole, parents should assure their teenager that university life is the preparation for working life and it will remain a splendid experience as long as they balance their time, studying, social and spiritual life, and budget.


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