I find many similarities between the elections in the U.S and the most important sporting events in the world, i.e. the World Cup and the Olympic Games. In the United States, elections for the entire seats of the House of Representatives and for a third of the Senate's seats take place every two years, and then each four years, these elections are held in addition to the presidential elections. Hence, the Football World Cup coincides with the midterm elections, which are less important than the Olympics, and also less important than the next elections two years later. If there is another similarity here, it would be that the U.S elections, the World Cup and the Olympics all cost billions of dollars, but the first brings the Israel lobby to the limelight, while the sporting events bring footwear companies to the limelight, as they sell shoes for football, athletics and other sports. The similarity stops here, however, because shoes are much more honorable than the Israeli lobby and the extremists in its ranks. But in fact, congressmen and football players cannot succeed if they were not good actors. The first pretend that they care about the interests of the voters, and the second fall at the slightest touch or breeze of air as though they were shot in the abdomen. After Algeria's departure from the World Cup, I lost all interest in the championship. But if there is any consolation, it would be that the title holder, Italy, also departed with us from the first round, and it turned out that the ‘Azzurri' was nothing but cheap blue glass. The French ‘roosters' also departed, and despite their nickname, each of the players played like a ‘chicken', and were then followed by Britain and its paper lions. In such a situation all I can do is mock football and its players, since the World Cup disappoints me once every four years as I wait for an Arab team to win the cup, or even reach the semi-finals. I would even settle for the quarter-finals, and lowering my expectations like that resembles how we all lower our expectations of Arab policies. In the semi-finals, an Arab couple sat near another young couple who were exchanging passionate kisses more heated than the match. The Arab man said to his wife that he is torn between watching the game and watching the couple next to them. She said: Watch the couple because you already know how to play football. Another woman was screaming throughout the game: Kill the referee. And whether the referee did something or not, the woman kept screaming: Kill the referee. A spectator next to her told her that the referee did nothing to justify that. She said: Listen, I am his wife and I found out today that he has a mistress. Staying with them, women in the national football season, and definitely in the world cup, are called ‘football widows' in the West, because the husbands ignore them to focus on watching the matches. A wife tried to get the attention of her husband as he sat on the sofa for hours in front of the television. She wore see-through sexy lingerie and paraded in front of him, but to no avail as he was completely taken by football. Finally, she came up with a genius idea, and wore a number on her back like any football player. From the wife to the husband, who told his friend: imagine, I watch football on television, listen to the commentary on another game over the radio, drink (soda of course), pet the dog sitting in front of me with my feet, and then my wife comes and says that I do nothing. Another wife told her husband: you breathe football, eat football, drink football, and think football. He replied: you missed the goal. Back to the current World Cup Championship, I frankly no longer care who wins since it will not be Algeria. I have started preparing myself psychologically for the Olympics, where Arab failure is even worse. A girl complained to her fiancé that he seems to prefer football over her. He said: it's true, but I prefer you over athletics, weightlifting, swimming and boxing. Why do we always lose? In football, I noticed that Arab teams are promising and great until they start playing. In the Olympics, the reason perhaps is that all the Arab youths who can run, jump and swim have already gone to Europe as illegal immigrants. What else can I say? A spectator arrived in the stadium with the game almost finished. He asked about the score, and he was told: nil-nil. He asked: and what was the score in the first half? The similarity here is that both the players and the spectators think with their feet. Nevertheless, I continue to hope that we will win one day, but I do not see this happening any time soon. I heard about an Arab man and his son who were given two tickets for the national championship final in their country. He stopped his car to buy light cigarettes, but when he returned to the car, he found its windows smashed. He screamed and shouted that a thief broke into their car to steal the two tickets that they left on the seats. But his son looked at the car and said: Dad, the thief actually left us two more tickets. I have two tickets for anyone who wants them. [email protected]
