ذات شتاء..!

مع أوائل الثمانينات أغوتني الرياض بها ذات شتاءٍ ممطر.. كانت شوارعها فيه ترتدي ثيابها الداكنة وتتحدث بلكنة بدويّة تتلمّس الدفء في مواقد الكلام، بينما الناس يزدحمون فيدهس فيها كل واحد ظلّ صاحبه كلما أشرقت الشمس عليها من وراء بناية مزكومة بالإعلانات..!
كنت يومها فتًى في مقتبل العشق فعلِقتُ بها!
ثلاثة عقود مرّت ولاتزال أنثاي التي أشكو منها عليها.. وكلما بلَغْتُ منها التعب، وبَلَغَتْ منِّي الحنق.. اعترفتُ لها أنني لا أستطيع أن أحبَّ غيرها..!
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الشتاء.. بباب الرياض قصائدُ مجهولة النشء مغسولة البرد.. مكفولةٌ بالقراءةْ الغيوم لعاب الإضاءةْ والشوارع.. مدّت لسان الرصيف إليّ وأعشبتِ الكبْرَ.. واليتم.. والسِّحَنِ العابسة..! حينما يحفر البرد في جسد السادسة.. أرتدي جوربَ الذكرياتِ.. وقبّعة الصوفِ.. والأغنيات العتيقةْ وأحمل بين ضلوعي سؤال الصغار وصوت الصديقة...! أثقب الصبح.. بالهاتف الخلويّ.. وأشعل سيجارة من بكاء:( صباحكِ أنتِ ) شتاء الرياض غبار القبور.. وغُسْل الفقيرْ.. مفاصل ليلٍ بلا نجمةٍ.. وحنينُ الغريبيْن في طرقاتِ التذكّرِ ينتعلون المصيرْ شتاء الرياض... بلا أصدقاء.
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الشتاء في ثقافات الآخرين وحشة الثلج، وبياض العتمة.. يبحثون فيه عن شمسٍ تلبس غيمتها كل يوم وتذهب للنهر... كي تطعم المساء وحشته.. لكنها حينما تشرق عليهم ذات يومٍ أعدّ قهوته للحياة، يخرجون إلى شوارعها المتبرّجة فلا يزدحمون فيها إلا للرقص...!
هنا.. وبعد أن أكلت شمس الصيف الطويل صمغ أيامنا الزجاجية.. لا يأخذنا البرد إلا لنبحث عن الدفء في مواقده القديمة، حنين ليله حزن لا ينتهي، وطوله اكتئاب مسالم.. صدقًا لا أعرف لماذا ارتبط البرد بالوحشة في روحي الشاعرة.. ربما لأن أرواح الشعراء عارية غالباً يخترقها البرد، وتعتريها رعشة البلل، ويجتاحها الليل كغولٍ كلما اشتهاها السهر في ليلةِ قصيدة..
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بيتٌ بلا أبواب يدخله الزمان على سجيّته
يحملقُ في الوجوهِ وفي الملابسِ.. يستطيبُ بجوعه الباقي من الخبزِ المبيّتِ
ثم يمضي في شوارعنا الكثيرة في المساءْ
رافقتُه يومًا
سألني عن ظلال العمر كيف تظل عاريةً
إذا هبّت رياحُ البرد في فصلِ الشتاءْ
أخفيتُ رأسي عنه تحت الشمسِ
ثم تركته يمضي بعيدًا واستعذتُ
من التسوّلِ
والتوسّلِ
والتملّقِ
والتزلّفِ
والرياء!