Israel-Hezbollah ceasefire comes into effect    Five survivors found day after Red Sea tourist boat sinking    Imran Khan supporters pushed back by security forces    Russia launched a record number of almost 200 drones toward Ukraine    King Salman calls for rain-seeking prayer on Thursday    Al Hilal advances to AFC Champions League knockout stage despite 1-1 draw with Al Sadd    Finance minister: All Vision 2030 projects have sustainable funding that won't affect public finances    Crown Prince announces medium-term debt strategy to diversify funding sources "A resilient economy capable of overcoming challenges reflects progress towards achieving Vision 2030 goals"    Riyadh Season draws 8 million visitors in 6 weeks    Alkhorayef highlights role of National Initiative for Global Supply Chains in boosting Saudi economy    Saudi Arabia signs investment deals worth SR35bn with foreign firms to strengthen global supply chains    Saudi Arabia unveils updates on Expo 2030 Riyadh master plan at 175th BIE General Assembly Riyadh Expo Development Company established to oversee strategic planning, operations, and legacy development    Saudi FM attends Quadripartite meeting on Sudan in Italy    Best-selling novelist Barbara Taylor Bradford dies    Cristiano Ronaldo's double powers Al Nassr to 3-1 win over Al Gharafa in AFC Champions League    Al Ahli edges Al Ain 2-1, bolsters perfect start in AFC Champions League Elite    Most decorated Australian Olympian McKeon retires    Adele doesn't know when she'll perform again after tearful Vegas goodbye    'Pregnant' for 15 months: Inside the 'miracle' pregnancy scam    Do cigarettes belong in a museum?    Order vs. Morality: Lessons from New York's 1977 Blackout    India puts blockbuster Pakistani film on hold    The Vikings and the Islamic world    Filipino pilgrim's incredible evolution from an enemy of Islam to its staunch advocate    Exotic Taif Roses Simulation Performed at Taif Rose Festival    Asian shares mixed Tuesday    Weather Forecast for Tuesday    Saudi Tourism Authority Participates in Arabian Travel Market Exhibition in Dubai    Minister of Industry Announces 50 Investment Opportunities Worth over SAR 96 Billion in Machinery, Equipment Sector    HRH Crown Prince Offers Condolences to Crown Prince of Kuwait on Death of Sheikh Fawaz Salman Abdullah Al-Ali Al-Malek Al-Sabah    HRH Crown Prince Congratulates Santiago Peña on Winning Presidential Election in Paraguay    SDAIA Launches 1st Phase of 'Elevate Program' to Train 1,000 Women on Data, AI    41 Saudi Citizens and 171 Others from Brotherly and Friendly Countries Arrive in Saudi Arabia from Sudan    Saudi Arabia Hosts 1st Meeting of Arab Authorities Controlling Medicines    General Directorate of Narcotics Control Foils Attempt to Smuggle over 5 Million Amphetamine Pills    NAVI Javelins Crowned as Champions of Women's Counter-Strike: Global Offensive (CS:GO) Competitions    Saudi Karate Team Wins Four Medals in World Youth League Championship    Third Edition of FIFA Forward Program Kicks off in Riyadh    Evacuated from Sudan, 187 Nationals from Several Countries Arrive in Jeddah    SPA Documents Thajjud Prayer at Prophet's Mosque in Madinah    SFDA Recommends to Test Blood Sugar at Home Two or Three Hours after Meals    SFDA Offers Various Recommendations for Safe Food Frying    SFDA Provides Five Tips for Using Home Blood Pressure Monitor    SFDA: Instant Soup Contains Large Amounts of Salt    Mawani: New shipping service to connect Jubail Commercial Port to 11 global ports    Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques Delivers Speech to Pilgrims, Citizens, Residents and Muslims around the World    Sheikh Al-Issa in Arafah's Sermon: Allaah Blessed You by Making It Easy for You to Carry out This Obligation. Thus, Ensure Following the Guidance of Your Prophet    Custodian of the Two Holy Mosques addresses citizens and all Muslims on the occasion of the Holy month of Ramadan    







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The last debate
Published in The Saudi Gazette on 22 - 05 - 2008

“WHAT do you want? Please, Sweetie, would you just tell me what you want?”
“Don't Sweetie me, Twiggy. You know what I want.”
“Besides that, Hillary. Seriously, you don't want your delusion to put John McCain in the White House. Or maybe you do. You have no shot. I'm 60 delegates away from nomination nirvana. You should stop stalking me. I come down to Florida for a victory lap and you follow me down here and call for a recount. Look what that did for Al Gore. If you show a shred of common sense and take a powder now, the party will put you on a pedestal.”
“Pedestals are for losers. You're on a pedestal. I've never been a loser. I refuse to lose. I won the West Virginia and Kentucky derbies, and I'm not going to end up like Eight Belles.”
“Hillary, you've been a great candidate, better than your train-wreck campaign. You're Churchillian in your indomitable tenacity. You've inspired women all over the country. In fact, you've inspired some of them to hate me. But now it's time for you to try to muster a gracious exit.”
“Forget it, Bones. Once Harold Ickes works his dark magic on the delegate rules to count Michigan and Florida, I'll have the popular vote. And then the superdelegates will grovel back. They know in their hearts that they don't want to go on a blind date with a guy who's going to be BFF with Cuba, Hamas, Iran and retired Weathermen. You can bet your white turban that I'm not raising the white flag.”
“Like hell you aren't, sister.”
“Sexist!”
“Racist!”
“Speaking of whites, you can't win without them. And if you think your Secretary of Hairdressing, John Edwards, is going to help, you're more delusional than I am.”
“Hillary, when are you going to realize that these whites you consider your pawns are so sick of the Republicans that they're going to vote for anybody who has the ‘D' next to their name, and it's going to be me. So cool it with the White Fright. Now what do you want? Debt relief?”
“Bill and I don't need your Netroots arugula moolah. We don't need your stinking $20 donors. We've got Burkle, the Saudis, the Kuwaitis and Kazakh uranium loot on tap.”
“Settle down, Hillary. What if I let you write the health care plank in the party platform?”
“Wow, you're so-o-o generous. Can I also write the plank on switchgrass?”
“I switched from grass a long time ago.”
“Listen, rookie, we're gonna have to share this thing.”
“Fine, you can have the 3 a.m. shift on the White House switchboard.”
“Oh, you're so witty with all your stupid rallies with 75,000 people and spending $100 million on ads to promote one puny word: Change. I've made sacrifices in this campaign. While you've been fake-eating and losing weight, I've had to stuff myself with all that greasy working-class junk food and chase it with Boilermakers.”
“What about me? I've come from nowhere, with a single mother on food stamps and a funny name.”
“Oh, you're so inspiring. For the first time in my adult lifetime, I'm really proud of my country.”
“Don't mock Michelle. I would be polite and ask you to be my vice president, but you'd accept, just the same way Lyndon Johnson sandbagged Bobby Kennedy, so I can't. You and Bill are just too much drama for me. Bill is off-the-charts crazy.” “Tell me about it. But he'd be way over on Massachusetts Avenue, a completely different ZIP code than the White House. And Cheney built that underground bunker there, so we'd always have someplace to stash him. If you don't put me on the ticket, I'll signal my faithful to vote for John McCain. He's more fun than you, anyhow.”
“Hillary, I don't trust you. And Michelle hates your guts. Look, the Senate is a wonderful place. I enjoyed my two months there. You've never made the most of the experience because you were so busy using it as a launching pad.”
“Back at ya, Skeletor.”
“Can you stop talking, Hillary? Is that even possible?” “No, I won't, Mr. Never-Convened-Your-European-Affairs-Subcommittee. I don't want to go back. It's boring. And why should I work with all those self-hating, so-called feminists who stabbed me in the back, like Claire McCaskill and Amy Klobuchar?”
“Look, Hillary, a few years back in the Senate helping me move my world-changing agenda will help you repair some of those relationships. In Barack Obama's Washington, there will be no more game-playing, mud-slinging or back-stabbing.”
“Hey, Se?or Appeaser, there's another primary in 2012. Bill and I are already gearing up for it.”
“You're not likeable enough, Hillary.” – The New York Times __


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