Sharing with others The twentieth century was an age of introspection, when the self-help industry and therapy culture encouraged us to be excessively individualistic and narcissistic, unashamedly emphasising what can be done to help me. I believe that the twenty-first century should become the age of outrospection, in which we place a greater focus on discovering and fulfilling ourselves through being interested in other people, and understanding how they live, think and look at the world. Empathy is the ultimate art form for the age of outrospection. But what is empathy? I define empathy as the imaginative act of stepping into the shoes of other people and seeing the world from their perspective. Psychologists usually call this ‘cognitive empathy' or ‘perspective-taking empathy'. Here is my one-minute definition of empathy for the Wordia online dictionary. Empathising is an everyday activity so commonplace we often hardly realize we are doing it. Empathy involves understanding the values, experiences, emotional concerns, beliefs and aspirations that shape someone's worldview, and is reflected in phrases like “I see what you mean” or “I know where you're coming from,” If you have a friend who has just been abandoned by her husband, you may naturally find yourself thinking about the pain she might be feeling or her sense of rejection and vulnerability. By doing so, you are empathizing, attempting to see the situation from her viewpoint, rather than your own. Or perhaps you have a work colleague who is failing to meet his deadlines but you know that his mother is descending into Alzheimer's and his thoughts are elsewhere, so you decide not to pressure him. Again, you are empathizing. Empathy is different from pity, sympathy, compassion or everyday kindness. If you see a homeless man under a bridge you may feel sorry for him and give him some money as you pass by. That is pity, not empathy. If, on the other hand, you make an effort to step into his shoes, to consider what life is really like for him, and perhaps have a conversation that transforms him in your eyes from a faceless stranger into a unique individual, then you are empathizing. We are often advised to follow the so-called Golden Rule, “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” But that also is not empathy, for it involves considering how you – with your own views – would wish to be treated. Empathy requires more: imagining their views rather than your own, and acting accordingly. George Bernard Shaw understood the difference when he quipped, “Do not do unto others as you would have them do unto you – they may have different tastes.” This blog aims to show how empathy can become the basis for a philosophy of living and a tool for social and political change. We must learn to live by the empathetic credo, “You are, therefore I am.” – lovelifeblog.com Working to death Zern Liew has graphs showing how the average Australians are working themselves to death. Even without looking at the graph, I can imagine it entirely. In Japan, they have a name for death by overwork - karoshi. My Japanese colleagues say that lawsuits around people working themselves to death are on the rise. No-one should be encouraged to work themselves to death - and I contrast this to “being worked to death” because we mostly have a choice to not do this. Mostly. That said, there are organizations that expect people to perform above and beyond the call of duty every single day, which works when your work is your hobby. But even then, it's not sustainable. Something that we all need to think about. What I am saying is this: that we should not allow ourselves to be worked to death without thinking it through. In most cases, where there is death by overwork, there is an element of choice involved. Society allows us the freedom to work ourselves into the ground. If we do this, and we don't die but cease to be productive, should we become pariahs, as we may be tempted to treat people who suffer from smoking-related illnesses? If we burn out, are we bludgers? And if we do actually die by karoshi, have we in effect committed suicide? In simpler times, would our remains have been excluded from hallowed ground, or staked to prevent us from rising as vampires? Should our survivors and witnesses receive trauma counselling to accept our demise and prevent them from following in our footsteps? Is working ourselves to death for a noble cause the same as taking a bullet for a friend? Do we accept the price of the sacrifice and do it anyway, knowing the consequences? I haven't given it enough thought to be able to say that I have my own personal answers to any of these questions, let alone offer advice. That said - I do have one question for you: if you work over 12 hours per day, do you know why you are doing it? Please think about it before it is too late.
