Stepmother IS there really such a concept as a “Step-Parent” in Saudi Arabia? In most cases it is the woman who is the step, the one who has married a Saudi with children. How the stepmother is perceived and treated to a degree depends on the age of the children when she entered their lives and how the father and rest of his extended family have introduced her and treat her. In my case with four adult stepchildren, I am known to them by my first name. When I met them I told them candidly I would never make any attempt to replace their mother and wanted to be looked upon as someone else who would be close to them and have their best interests at heart. The girls would refer to me or introduce me as “their father's wife” rather than as their stepmother. I'm okay with that. My stepson, who is the eldest, has been more relaxed and not only calls me his ‘American Mom' but introduces me that way. It is a fact worldwide that children regardless of age are going to be close and loyal to their moms. As a result there can be resistance or distance when another woman has become important in the father's life. A stepmother should not try to force a relationship but let it develop naturally over time. I have also seen here how some women think that in order to be close and have a good relationship with the stepchildren, the children must be taken shopping frequently or given gifts. Personally I don't think that is the best way to forge a relationship. If a stepmother feels resistance she should talk to her spouse about it and elicit his suggestions since he knows his children best. And of course, have patience. When the parameters of the new relationship are being formed be prepared to be tested. Stepchildren will purposely try or do things that are either prohibited or let's say, not in good taste. They want to see how their stepmother would respond. In the few cases where I've had such an incident happen, depending on the situation, I either spoke to them directly and reiterated house rules or if I felt necessary brought their Dad in to explain and/or reinforce. My stepdaughters and I do not have too much interaction which has been their choice. They are older and have their own friends and activities. They do not hesitate to ask me when they have questions for which they do not know the answer or if they need help or assistance with a problem. We have had some occasions where we have had in-depth chats on various topics and I've always enjoyed those opportunities. Fortunately for me, my stepchildren do speak English so language has not been a barrier to communications. For many other women in Saudi the language barrier has been a big challenge in building a relationship. Do not be surprised or disappointed that Aunts and cousins are going to be greeted with much more warmth and affection than the stepmother. After all, these are not only blood relatives but family that's been known since birth. It is very unlikely that a stepmother will ever have the same kind of relationship and degree of closeness with stepchildren as other Saudi family members. The exceptions where a very close relationship may exist is when the stepmother comes into the Saudi child's life while that child is very young and not only easy to impress but easier to bond. – americanbedu.com Snow time WE got hammered by 28” of snow to be approximate! This is just our front steps. The steps have been shoveled, you can see paw prints and foot prints down there. The snow was deep! So I did what all good citizens do in a snow storm. Put on my jim jams and stayed inside watching TV and cleaning while hubs did all the shoveling. In all fairness, I did make double chocolate hot chocolate for him. And bring him beverage later. It took about three hours for him to shovel everything. After he was done, it was time for both of us. You realize we are so exciting that we did absolutely nothing, watched a lot of Discovery Channel and Nat Geo. It was a super lazy SuperBowl Sunday... I had to even take a nap that afternoon so I'd be awake for it. We watched, and it was a great game and we were thrilled that the Saints won. Not as thrilled as Kim mind you.. but it was pretty awesome. So basically, you didn't get your special “It's my Blogoversary” post, so that will be later this week, depending on the next storm we get and if I can talk myself and Scott to go outside in the freezing cold to take the pictures I need. We'll see. Oh, did I mention we're expecting another foot Tuesday into Wednesday? Don't get me wrong. I love the snow... so for me, it's all good. – bubblewench.blogspot.com Pains of caring How devastating.To be rejected, unloved,and you don't feel a thing.The cuts that bare your arms are just marks in your eyes.You never felt the pain when you did that. All you felt was anger, sadness. The worry that fills me is worry for you. Because you are important to me.You're not just a friend,you're my best friend. And it kills a part of me inside everytime I see a new scar. Your smile doesn't fool me.I see past it, and I see painI know you better than you think I do. I hate seeing you like this. Everyday,the scars go deeper.Your eyes become more bloodshot,and you become weaker. You may not think it shows,but I see it.You're worth it,life is worth it.You may think no one wants you around,but you're wrong. Even if you don't feel the pain,I do.
