An increasing number of married young adults are traveling abroad with their spouses to pursue further education, particularly after the advent of King Abdullah's scholarship program. Marriage is a huge responsibility in itself and adding travel abroad for work or study to that can complicate matters further and throw up obstacles in the couple's long-term married life. Dr. Hessa Al-Sihly is a faculty member within the Education Department at King Abdulaziz University in Jeddah and she told Saudi Gazette that family problems, financial concerns, cultural adaptation and psychological pressure (either to study or because of isolation from home) can all become a source of conflict for these student couples abroad. Saudi Gazette spoke to Manal Khaled, a 27-year-old Saudi woman who was recently accepted with her husband in the King Abdullah scholarship program and they both traveled abroad to pursue further studies. “I traveled with my husband to the US to pursue a degree at the same university, but when he used to see me speak to a friend in class he would physically abuse me and stopped me from completing my studies,” she remarked. Though isolated and extreme, Manal's case is a classic example of spousal jealousy. Dr. Al-Sihly explained that jealousy is a common spousal reaction during time spent abroad since the culture and lifestyle is hugely different from the one the couple has left behind here. Dr. Mansour Bin Askar, a professor of sociology at King Saud University in Riyadh, however, indicated that stress, alcohol and the immense pressure of responsibilities - both academic and personal - may be the leading factors behind this conflict. “I was on scholarship in the US with my husband, but after a couple of months I noticed a change in his behavior and mood and discovered that he had started drinking and gambling,” remarked Samah Abdullah, a 24-year-old Saudi woman. “He would get back home late at night, beat me and sometimes even throw me out of the house.” Another oft-cited reason is to do with the wife's academic prowess, added Dr. Al-Sihly. In some instances, the wife is better than the husband in terms of language or academic success and will therefore start feeling that her husband is unable to “protect” her and will “start looking elsewhere for that support.” Fatmah Abdurrahman, a 24-year-old Saudi woman, traveled to England recently with her husband to study English. “I speak English fluently but my husband does not so whenever we went anywhere, I would speak for both of us and that really bothered him,” she said. Another woman, 27-year-old Noura Jaber remarked that she and her husband both went abroad together, but once there, her husband wouldn't let her pursue her degree because the University was not segregated. According to Dr. Al-Sihly, both the husband and wife should be aware of these issues and have a healthy dialogue and understanding between them before traveling abroad so that they can solve these problems with success. Dr. Askar agrees: “Husbands normally have a busy academic schedule, often because of specialized scientific study so the wife must take this into consideration and offer her support. On the other hand, the husband must also stay by his wife's side and offer her support so that isolation and responsibilities do not affect her psychologically.” In terms of practical solutions, Dr. Al-Sihly recommends that wives who are not enrolled in a program themeless, take extra language courses or pursue an academic program of sorts to keep busy and hone their skills. She added that the couple can also seek the help of a professional or register for therapy ad counseling.
