Although there are many factors responsible for broken homes and dysfunctional families, the breakup is often due to the abusive behavior of a man who is the home's husband, father and main source of support. Some of these men become involved in crime and are sentenced to years in prison, thus depriving the family of a source of income and the children of a father figure at home. Studies have shown that children who are raised in such homes often themselves grow up to become abusive adults and end up in prison like their fathers. The following case studies demonstrate the devastating effect that a father's abusive behavior can have on family life and the need for society to find a way to break the cycle of broken homes leading to children growing up to begin their own dysfunctional families. Umm A.'s story “My husband and I sleep in the little remaining space in our small room while the rest is occupied by heaps of furniture, furnishings and other belongings. Our five children use the second room in our home in Jeddah.” “It is not this that hurts me despite my wish that my family could live in better conditions. What hurts me even more is that for years I had been counting the days waiting for the time when my first born son would come of age and be able to compensate me for what I have missed in life. But, alas, he is now languishing in prison, and with this my suffering has increased and I have become weak and ill to such an extent that I feel that sorrow and agony will haunt me all the days of my life.” This was spoken by Umm A., whose son, only identified as A., has been sentenced to seven years in jail. The distraught mother narrates her life story and that of her son being taken to prison. She said, “After the death of my father, my brothers married me off to a man I knew nothing about except that he came and asked for my hand in marriage. Some time after our marriage, I returned to my brothers' house crying as a result of being treated harshly and being beaten by my husband. It was at that time that I realized that he was involved in the use of drugs. My brothers, however, forced me to go back to my husband especially as I was pregnant at the time. From that day onwards, I submitted myself to living with him no matter what he might do. I gave birth to four children, and with the birth of each child, I used to hope that my husband would calm down and treat me in a better way. There was, however, no improvement. He continued to beat me and he used to frequently be absent from home for long periods of time. When my husband was sentenced to prison for drug abuse, I demanded a divorce and I shouldered the responsibilities for my children including school fees and other expenses. With time my children grew up and their expenses increased. I felt I needed a man in the house to help me control them and raise them properly, so I got married to another man. At that time, I was very happy that my son, A., started working with one of our relatives to help me bear the household expenses. I began dreaming of the many changes which would give our family a better life. But one day I quickly woke up from my dream. Neighbors came to tell me that my son had been arrested by security men for stealing along with several other youths and that he had been sentenced to seven years in jail. From that day the conditions of my life changed and I am left counting the days until my son's release from prison. I know that he was not to blame and that it was his bad companions who led him to prison.” Searching for food to feed her family “My search for food and the basic necessities for my children and myself is the main reason why I am still married to a man who has been in prison for four years,” says a woman who prefers not to give her name. “Before my father died, he married off seven of my sisters and I was the last to put on the wedding dress. No sooner had I entered the marital home than I began screaming from the severe beating I received from my husband. I bore this agony as I did not want to return to my brothers and increase their worries and burdens. I recall that on the seventh day, I ran away to the street crying due to the beating I had received. Every time I ran away to my brothers, they returned me to my husband. Not even a year passed and I gave birth to a son. With his birth, I thought I would be able to forget my agony. By the time I had given birth to four children, my husband was sentenced to ten years in jail on charges of burglary and theft. Despite the absence of our breadwinner, we never miss him because of the way he used to treat us. However, we are in need of many necessary items in the house. We have very little furniture and there is not enough food to feed the children. Sometimes days pass without our finding something to eat. But what suffices me and my children is that we are living a calm life without shouting and the severe beatings that we used to receive.” Juvenile cases Omar, 17, is presently in the correction house in Jeddah after the court sentenced him to four years in jail on a morals charge. Omar described how he ended up in prison. He said, “Due to my dad's frequent absence from home and my stay with my grandmother and uncle two years ago, I came to know two girls who had run away from their families. We became involved in some illegal practices and were arrested. I was placed in the correction house and then sentenced to prison.” Badr, 14, says, “My dad and mother are in jail and I was placed in the correction house after I was arrested eight months ago on charges of stealing mobile telephones.” Abdullah, 17, who was arrested on charges of stealing and sentenced to two years in prison, says, “Our difficult family circumstances forced me and my brothers to beg inside and outside the Grand Mosque in Makkah until we were arrested.” Officials comment Crimes committed by parents and especially a father's abusive treatment clearly have adverse effects on children. Ahmad Al-Shamrani, Director-designate of the Correction House in Jeddah, said, “The father's conduct has an impact on the behavior of his whole family without exception. Those most affected by the father's conduct are the sons who often end up committing crimes. As a result, the family loses its son.” He pointed out that the majority of the juveniles in the correction house are non-Saudis. Most of them were affected by the head of the family being imprisoned, and in his absence they committed crimes and were arrested. Dr. Abdel Ilah Muhammad Al-Shareef, Assistant Director General of the Drug Combat Department for Preventive Affairs, said the socio-psychological condition of drug addicts, who are admitted to Al-Amal Hospital for treatment, is studied, and if assistance is required, then there is coordination with the Committee for the Care of the Families of Prisoners or the Social Affairs Department depending on each case. Drug abuse Nadia Al-Aqeel, a psychologist at Al-Ruwais Center in Jeddah, said drug abuse is one of the most serious menaces facing society. Before being hooked on drugs, drug addicts experiment with substances that give them a high and alter their behavior. Meanwhile, Yusuf Al-Rumaih, Associate Professor of Criminology and Combating Crime at Al-Qassim University and Adviser to the governorate (Amarah) in Al-Qassim Region, said drug addiction affects all of society. Many crimes are committed under the effect of drugs or in search of the money to pay for them. Drug addiction can lead to the father or guardian forgetting his responsibility towards the family. He might even be the cause of other family members committing crimes. Socio-psychological studies Talal Al-Nashiri, head of the Social Service Department at King Fahd Hospital in Jeddah, said that any patient admitted to the hospital undergoes a socio-psychological study. As for prisoners, he said the department coordinates with the Prisons Administration. He stressed the importance of society accepting and supporting prisoners' families. This he said was actually part of the rehabilitation process as such acceptance and support will not only help the prisoner's family but will also reflect positively on the prisoner himself. Family breakup Dr. Abdul Hameed Al-Habib, Director of the Mental and Social Health Administration in the Ministry of Health, explained that the family is an interlinked chain with every member having an effect on the entire family. If one link in the chain falls or becomes loose, then the whole family breaks up. This breakup results in problems for all family members without exception. There are times when some family members deviate from the right path. The fact that some fathers have committed crimes and have been put behind bars should not be a justification for their children to follow the same path. It is their duty to learn lessons from the mistakes that their father has made. Also, they should help to support their family instead of taking to a life of crime, or, in some cases, committing crimes in order to punish their father. Although the media provides information to society, they sometimes exaggerate certain matters. We must address the problems of the current generation according to the changes that have taken place and not according to what we want. Times change and generations differ. The problem is that we want young people to behave according to our vision of the way the world should be even if this differs from their vision, interests and inclinations.
