“My child always has an excuse in the morning. Sometimes he has a problem with the teachers' behavior and sometimes with his classmates. I feel he has some fears and other tensions which lead to this behavior,” complained Aayna Zaki, mother of a 4-year-old boy. Complaints like Zaki's are very common among pre-school and early kindergarten students. Most parents face them in the initial schooling span. “Around 80 percent children cry in the initial period of pre-schooling and take at least two weeks to settle,” said Huma Quraishi, a lower kindergarten teacher at Hala International School in Jeddah. Anila Paracha, an educationist and headmistress at The City School International, enumerated four reasons for such behavior: anxiety because of the unfamiliar school atmosphere, lack of sleep, attention seeking and a sudden change in the home environment, for example, the birth of a new sibling. She suggests three factors play a very significant role in the child's personality and behavioral development: parents, teachers and the school. “Parents can play a positive role by fulfilling the emotional needs of the child and preparing him/her for school by reading or narrating stories of other children in similar situations. They can create excitement and love for school by buying school stationery and uniforms together, and giving the child enough time and attention so that he feels secure and independent,” Paracha said. Nouf Al-Marwaai, a clinical psychologist and a yoga and aerobics expert threw light on the impact of the parent-child relationship on a child's performance at school, saying, “Instability in a parent's relationship with a child makes the child insecure and makes them feel either aggressive or isolated. Usually boys become aggressive and girls isolated.” “Insecurity affects the child's studies and causes hurdles in making friends due to the child's low confidence. Teachers can also play an important role in such cases by building up a child's confidence and eliminating the communication gap between child and parents by counseling them,” Marwaai added. The role of teachers in helping a child adjust to a school routine is crucial, since she is not only a tutor and an educator, but also a maternal figure to the child. “At times children are not accepted by their classmates due to their looks or disabilities, and in such cases teachers and parents can help by counseling the children who are facing the difficulty and others who are causing it. Children must be taught to accept differences in themselves and others, to avoid falling prey to inferiority complexes,” she said. Paracha suggests that teachers start the school day with activities like story telling, puppets, drama or painting that are considered enjoyable by students. Encouraging and appreciating children on their little achievements helps them build confidence in the teacher, and makes children feel safe and accept the teacher and school environment. “Teachers must encourage students to talk to their parents about what they learn in school everyday, as they feel pride in telling others about their achievements,” she suggested. Marwaai believes that parents must work in close association with teachers and prepare a child for school before admission by introducing them to the teachers and showing them around the school and classroom. “The child must be given time to settle in class, and schools must allow mothers to stay close at hand at least during the first week of school. Children should be made aware that their parents have a friendly relationship with their teachers, so that they feel they are in familiar company and not with a stranger. This will help a child feel secure and excel at his work.” Sania Arshad, a mother of two sons said, “The teacher's behavior is very crucial in a child's performance at school. Like all children, my child too created problems in the beginning but soon settled down because of the teacher's helpful and considerate attitude. Sometimes having another sibling in school helps the child to adjust quickly. My younger son took no time to settle down at his school and loves his teacher.” One area which needs to be dealt with cautiously is responding to a child's complaints regarding the teacher's behavior. “Children are at a highly imaginative and fanciful stage until six years of age, and may complain about a teacher's “misconduct” as an excuse for not going to school,” Marwaai said Such complaints should not be ignored and the child must be assured by the parents that they are in touch with teacher and have talked about the problem. “Children don't need to be told the details and teachers must never be criticized in front of young children, since they would take it as a cue to disobey the teacher, which spoils the classroom environment.” Asfia Junaid, a Kindergarten teacher at Hala International School, said that a regular parent-teacher's conference is necessary to help teachers understand more about the child's state of mind. There should be at least one such conference in 3 months as it helps parents know about their child's performance and how they can help to enhance it. She complained that some negligent parents consider the child's education as wholly the school's responsibility. She said, “Some parents don't even bother to attend the parent-teacher's conferences despite the child's poor performance. Since a child spends more time at home, parents should give him more attention so that he develops confidence and is able to make a smooth transition to school.
