Weddings are a costly business, especially in the Gulf region which is notorious for its outrageously lavish and expensive weddings. The invitation cards to be sent out, the wedding hall, flowers, décor, custom made soundtracks, banquet, cake, chocolates, and other extravagances cost mind-boggling sums of money. “It is estimated that Arabic and Indian couples in the United Arab Emirates spend anywhere from $40,800 to $272,000 for a wedding, while Westerners tend to spend from $27,000 to $40,800,” said Rhiannon Downie, co-founder and director of a website dedicated to brides and wedding planners. Although every girl dreams of walking down the aisle in a dazzling white gown, appearing as a princess in her royal ball, some big-hearted brides-to-be dream of putting smiles on the faces of children and women living in poverty. For these young brides, it is far more worthwhile to feed thousands of children with the huge amount of money that would otherwise be spent on throwing a fancy wedding celebration. The money spent on a wedding is squandered in one night, whereas 66 million children across the world go to bed hungry every night. One such bride, Esra Polat, is just as beautiful on the inside as she is on the outside. When it was time to pick out an elegant hotel to host their wedding, the Turkish soon-to-be-couple, Esra Polat and Fethullah Uzumcuoglu decided to hold their wedding reception at a Syrian refugee camp in their city, Kilis, on the Turkish-Syrian border. Their guests, instead of their close friends and relatives, would be the women, men, and children who fled their war-stricken country. The bride in her white wedding gown and golden tiara and the groom in his white and black tuxedo, posed for photos with the Syrian refugees. The couple distributed food and shared their wedding meal with 4,000 Syrian refugees that day. The idea actually started with the groom's father who is a volunteer for the Turkish relief organization called Kimse Yok Mu (KYM). He thought that inviting the couple's family and friends for an elaborate dinner was expensive and unnecessary, when then there are so many people in dire need of basic nutrition; living almost next door to them. KYM feeds thousands of impoverished Syrians each day, who keep coming in a steady stream across the border. And to his surprise and delight, when he shared his idea with the young couple, they welcomed the idea. The spokesperson for KYM, Hatice Avci, said to the local press, “In southeastern Turkey there is a real culture of sharing with people in need …They love to share their food, their table, everything they have. That's why the bride also accepted. And afterwards she was quite amazed about it.” The bride and groom spent their wedding day, on a sunny, August day, in the food distribution trucks, serving food to the Syrian refugees in Kilis. “Hopefully this will also give the start for other wedding dinners to be held here with our brothers in Syria,” the groom told local news. What a meaningful and inspiring way to start what everyone is hoping will be a blissful marriage for this generous young, Turkish couple. Earlier this summer, another bride skipped the whole fairytale wedding in exchange for funding a drinking water project for villagers in Africa. The young Saudi woman, Buhaisa Alarabi, and her groom agreed to use the money that had been saved up for the wedding ceremony, and donate it instead to a poor village in Djibouti. With the wedding budget, the Saudi couple was able to install a new water supply system for the entire village, to provide them with clean, running water. There was even some money left over, which was then used to build several homes for families in the village. The newlyweds traveled to Djibouti to meet the people living in the village whose lives they had touched. The people of Djibouti greeted the bride and groom with claps, jubilant cheers, and chants. To Alarabi, those voices were just as beautiful as the wedding song and music that she had opted out of. Instead of throwing a huge wedding party, she wanted to start her marriage by sharing her happiness with those less fortunate than herself, those in need of basic necessities, such as running water.
“My husband and I decided to build the water network and then use more money from the wedding funds to build homes with Allah's blessing,” said Alarabi. When planning their project, Alarabi said that she chose this project in particular because the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “The best charity is to provide water.” Alarabi recently spoke at a TEDx event at the University of Dammam to encourage other students to follow her and her husband's example. She wants young women to think of all the money spent on elaborate weddings, and what that money could do for families living in poverty, hungry, and deprivation. How many mouths could you feed? How many lives could you touch? She urged them to try something different for their weddings, saying that “it was beautiful to share our happiness with those who deserve to be happy too. Every girl that possesses a pure heart is a bride and has to throw a different wedding.”
