Everyone can sense the blessedness that exists in Ramadan. High spirits and the will to do good are in the air, and it is contagious. I see it everywhere. People are more generous, reconciliations are made in Ramadan, and those who used to skip prayers before are now lining up in the first row at the masjid to pray.
If we pray all of our prayers on time during Ramadan but then sleep through fajr prayer on Eid morning, then we have not been changed by Ramadan. If the hijab was worn during Ramadan and then discarded, if the Holy Quran was read every day during Ramadan and then left on the book shelf to collect dust in the following months, then we have not been changed by Ramadan.
Ramadan has the power to change us, but this year we should aim higher. We should aim to make lasting changes. Behavioral therapists say that repeating a task every day for 21 days in a row makes it a habit. In Ramadan we develop the habit to pray fajr on time and to pray qiyamul-layl or nighttime voluntary prayers, and we can also make the conscious decision to stick with this habit after Ramadan is over.
Imam Mufti Menk suggests that Ramadan is actually the perfect time to make resolutions and to set goals to be fulfilled throughout the year. If the intention is to please the Lord, with dedication and consistency, we can maintain our elevated level of faith and worship for the 11 months after Ramadan.
How to make lasting changes:
In Ramadan, family members often compete in how many khatmah they will complete, or how many times they will read the entire Holy Qur'an. After Ramadan, maybe you will not continue reading 20 pages each day, but make it a non-wavering habit to read at least one page of the Holy Qur'an every day. Make use of the empty times, such as while riding in the car, waiting in line or waiting at the doctor's or dentist's office. If you have not done so already, download the Holy Qur'an on your smart phone. There are so many free applications of the Qur'an and also with the English translation.
The nights come to life in Ramdan, but for the wise believers, it is not the city life of shopping and dining, rather it is their connection with Allah. Nights are spent in prayer and supplication. No other act of worship brings peace to the mind and heart and brings you closer to Allah than performing qiyamul-layl.
The companion Abdullah ibn Salam narrated that the Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said, “O people, spread salam (greeting of peace), give food, maintain kin relationships, and pray at night while people are asleep. With this, you shall enter Heaven in peace.”
During Ramadan some of us pray 8 or 11 or 20 rakaat of qiyamul-layl. If this is too difficult to keep up after Ramadan, we can wake up to pray just 6 or 4 or even 2 rakaat of qiyamul-layl. To make it easy, we can set the alarm clock for simply 15 minutes before fajr. If we pray a few rakaat of qiyamul-layl and then fajr prayer, we will still have time to get more sleep before work. What is important is to not lose this special communion with Allah.
l Motivate yourself to maintain that high level of faith and worship that you experienced during Ramadan. Read and memorize the sayings of the Prophet (peace be upon him) on the rewards for reading Qur'an, for praying on time, for giving charity, and praying at night. Write them down on sticky notes and post them around the house to serve as inspiration and daily reminders.
l Find an ‘iman buddy', a close friend or family member or co-worker: someone who will help you hold on to the good habits you developed during Ramadan, and you will help them with theirs. Take turns waking one another up for fajr prayer; a text message, what's app, or phone call, just make sure your buddy confirms that he/she is awake and ready to pray. The two of you can make a pact to fast together at least one day each week after Ramadan, or every Monday and Thursday. Fasting is not over just because Ramadan is over, it is an act of worship that truly elevates the believer and can be practiced any day of the year.
One of the best paths that lead to Paradise is through seeking knowledge. Commit yourself to a weekly or monthly class at your local masjid or Islamic Center, or take a course on-line related to any of the sciences of the deen, it could be tafseer, or seerah, or fiqh, or even the Arabic language. Some neighborhood masajid are doing a great job of offering lectures (for both men and women) that truly can boost your knowledge and keep your faith recharged during and after Ramadan.
Make your family a priority. Imam Mufti Menk said, “Families need to communicate with one another, talk with one another. Do something meaningful together. Do you kiss your children? Do you hug your daughters? Do you send them messages “I love you”, “I miss you”, “I am at work thinking of you”? Say good and kind words to your children.”
Ramadan brings families together because everyone gathers around the iftar table to share a meal together at the same time every day. After Ramadan, keep up this change in your family. No matter how hectic everyone's schedules are, with a bit of rearrangements, the family should sit down together for a meal at least once a day. Turn smart phones off at this meal, and truly connect with one another. Family members should be able to talk about their good news and also about any problems they may be facing. Taha Ghayyur, a prominent leader of the Muslim leader community in Toronto said, “Ramadan gives us a break and provides us with a rare opportunity to think about our own selves, our future, and our families.”
Deep reflection and re-evaluating our lives will help us remain more devoted in our worship, revive meaningful friendships and relationships within our families, and lead a more fulfilling life in Ramadan and all year long.
