FAMILY stability can be greatly affected by sudden changes that may hinder the way family members interact with one another or alter their roles and social functions.
One of the most difficult situations that many families struggle with is an illness in the family that requires a husband or wife to play the role of attendant for the ill family member. In the event of prolonged hospitalization, the attendant will struggle to balance his/her family obligations, which may lead to confrontations and disputes within the family, Al-Riyadh daily reported.
When housewife Umm Khaled's mother suffered a stroke that left her in hospital for seven months, she struggled to balance her duties toward her mother and her family. Fed up of her constant absence, Umm Khaled's husband married another woman.
“My mother had a sudden stroke and had to be hospitalized for seven months. I made sure to stay next to her during this period because I am her only daughter. Despite this, I did not neglect my duties toward my children and husband, but my husband did not like the situation and married another woman as I refused to remain away from my mother,” she said.
Dalal Muhammad, a teacher, said both husband and wife must combine their efforts and switch roles in the event of a family member falling ill. “This is what me and my husband had to do when our son was afflicted with a serious disease that kept him in the hospital for two months. I stayed next to my son in the hospital for a whole month and my husband took over during the second month until our son recovered, thanks to Allah,” she said.
Rahaf Bandar, a housewife, said her mother has been hospitalized for over a year after she suffered multiple head and body fractures. Initially, she and her sisters took turns taking care of their mother but when job and family obligations made that hard to do, the siblings agreed to hire a maid to remain with their mother in the hospital.
Maryam Al-Nifie, a housewife and mother to three boys, said she has been staying with her mother in the hospital for the past eight months. When hospital visiting hours end, her husband brings their maid to remain in the hospital's waiting area while Maryam rushes home to check on her sons and cook.
“There is another woman at the hospital who is in the same room as my mother but she does not have anyone to care for her because all her children are males. They rarely visit their mother so I help her out when I can. Allah will reward me for serving her,” she said.
According to nurse Saadiyah Bint Abdullah, most patients do not require around the clock care. She advised families against staying at the hospital unless it was absolutely necessary.
“Some female attendants act improperly at the hospital. They will bring carpets, which they roll out on the floor and then they chat and drink tea and order fast food. Such conduct affects the patients because of the noise they make,” she said.
Dr. Moudhi Bint Matni Al-Shammari, associate professor in the Social Studies Department at King Saud University, said family members should allow nursing staff to carry out their roles and not interfere unnecessarily.
“Hospitals have all the required equipment to monitor patients and nurses can be summoned immediately when there is an emergency. Family members should visit but they should also pay attention to other responsibilities they have, whether they are work, family or school related,” said Al-Shammari.
