HOW sharper than a serpent's tooth it is to have a thankless child, William Shakespeare wrote in his tragedy King Lear. Respecting and treating one's parents kindly is a moral characteristic that reflects the essence of human nature. Despite the emphasis Islam places on obedience and dutifulness to parents, children these days are often found mistreating their parents by disobeying them or raising their voices at them. In extreme cases, children resort to beating and humiliating their parents, a stark cultural shift from the past, Al-Riyadh daily reported. People are divided on the reasons for such social changes. Some ask whether social institutions are dragging their feet in carrying out their role in this aspect. Or are parents to blame for neglecting the upbringing of their sons and daughters? Said Al-Khuzaim, imam of a local mosque, said we live in a rapidly-changing society and this affects both children and parents. He, however, blamed parents for neglecting their role in raising children. “Parents these days are preoccupied with other matters. Also, they do not advise their children and pray for them. Therefore, we read about crimes committed by children against their parents in the local media,” he said. The manifestations of disobedience are numerous. Some of these actions are carried out by children without them realizing it. Other actions are easily understood as disobedience. These include instances in which children shout at their parents or make them sad to the extent that they cry. Al-Khuzaim said criticizing the food one's mother cooks or father brings, mocking, not smiling or greeting when meeting parents, and not listening or showing attention to what they say all constitute parental disobedience. “Giving preference to one's husband or wife over father or mother, assaulting parents, maligning them in front of other people and not greeting them are all forms of disobedience forbidden by religion. Allah said in the Holy Qur'an: ‘Thy Lord hath decreed that ye worship none but Him, and that ye be kind to parents. Whether one or both of them attain old age in thy life, say not to them a word of contempt, nor repel them, but address them in terms of honor'.” (Qur'an, 17:23). Al-Khuzaim stressed the importance of a sound upbringing for children and the role of the school and mosque in doing this. “We are in a world full of sedition. Parents should set an example for children to follow by being kind and dutiful to their own parents. There is joint responsibility among teachers, imams of mosques, neighbors and relatives. Nobody should see a disobedient young man or woman and keep silent about their action. They must advise and guide him or her,” he added. Al-Khuzaim said the punishment for disobeying or assaulting parents is discretionary and depends on how serious a judge thinks the offense is. The consequences of disobedience to parents are numerous. “Some of them are worldly and others are in the Hereafter. God will not accept the good deeds of people who mistreat their parents, He hates them and denies them sustenance. The angels curse them and their supplications are not accepted. The punishment in the Hereafter for the disobedient son or daughter is that he or she will not enter paradise. This is because when the parents are happy with their son or daughter, Allah will be happy with them,” he said. Ibrahim Al-Muhaisini, professor of social psychology at Najran University, said social changes have disturbed the nature of relations linking children to parents, so social pressure has affected children so much. “Society criticizing a son who is not dutiful to his parents leads to him being ostracized. Therefore, he pretends to be dutiful toward his parents. Also, parents often fail to educate their children who may spend more time with friends than with family. Some parents, on the other hand, spend time with colleagues and friends and all of this has contributed to children becoming disobedient toward them,” he said.
