“We decided to invite all those who had their marriage parties in our hotel for a complimentary first anniversary dinner,” said the marketing manager of a 5-star hotel in Al-Madinah. “Then we were in for a shock. Most of those we contacted were divorced!!”
It was shocking, yes, but not surprising. I look around me and see this phenomenon occurring everywhere. When I worked as a PR consultant for a large company in Jeddah, most Saudi women at work or asking to work with us, were young divorcees. Older women, however, were mostly married.
Statistics are frightening. The Ministry of Economy and Planning confirmed that in recent years, courts and marriage officials registered around 70,000 marriage contracts annually, and processed more than 13,000 official divorce papers.
Official reports also indicate that the total number of all divorce cases in the Kingdom, in 2011, was 34,622 and that 66 percent of which took place in the first year of marriage. There was also an increase in the number of women divorcing their husbands by court order over the previous two years, with most divorce cases taking place in Riyadh followed by Makkah.
Divorce cases increased to more than 30,000, in 2012, averaging 82 divorces per day, or three divorces an hour.
Why? Young people are more educated than any previous generation. They have better chances at knowing each other before official commitment.
Economically, they are better off than their predecessors. So why are they divorcing much more than their parents and grandparents ever did?
The alarming rates of divorce are leading concerned government agencies, social and academic organizations to study this phenomenon. The Ministries of Justice and of Social Affairs are putting forward serious and innovative solutions to address the problem. Special committees in every city and town are set up to counsel couples applying for divorce. The Council of Ministers is reviewing a proposal to require obligatory marriage counseling courses for young couples before their marriage.
“Soon the marriage contract will not be issued unless a course certificate is presented. The marital training certificate will be required along with the medical report before a marriage can be officially recognized,” Samar Fatani, a Saudi Gazette writer, predicts. She warns, however, that “the ministries must ensure that the counseling courses are conducted by progressive and qualified psychologists or social scientists, otherwise the courses will not achieve the desired goals and we will not see a positive change.”
“They should be made aware of the duties and responsibilities that come with married life. However, it is equally important to conduct nationwide campaigns to change negative attitudes toward women and promote a healthier family environment. More needs to be done to raise awareness about the sanctity of the institution of marriage and to address the disintegration of the Saudi family,” Fatani advises.
There are other reasons for the worsening problem, too. Al-Arabiya reports that the main causes for separation include educational gap, differences in habits and poor understanding of marital duties. Among other factors they cited are negligence, disregard of either spouse, violence, and disputes. Over 1,500 Saudis filed for divorce in 2013 to end the marriage.
Violence is a worrying factor. Seventy-three percent of Saudi females have been verbally abused by their husbands, according to a new study. For the survey, conducted by social affairs researcher Munira Al-Subai, 285 housewives took part in the questionnaire. Verbal abuse in the study was defined as raising voice, verbal humiliation, cursing her, running her into the ground for her looks, and using profanities.
Last year, the Saudi government has approved a strict law against domestic violence. Wives and children abusers are now severely punished. Hopefully, the implementation of the law is as good as its rules. Verbal abuse should be added to the list of punishable offenses.
Divorce is the worst breaker of social fabric. Families get divided, children lose joint parental care, and peaceful homes are put on fire. We cannot hope for a coherent society with so many single moms and dads. The sooner we realize the seriousness effects of this dangerous phenomenon on our lives and future generations, the more we could do about it.
Ladies and gentlemen, we need a serious and extensive research on the issue, bold, creative solutions, and a good cooperation among the concerned public, NGOs and academic institutions to fight the trend. We could also study the experiences of other nations, especially Muslim countries which tackled the problem successfully, like Malaysia, and a joint-study with most affected neighbors, like Bahrain.
What is your take dear readers? How can we save our marriage institution and fight this disturbing high divorce rates? What is the role of one and all in this fix? What role may religious and school education play in the campaign? Do you believe that globalization, commercialism and materialism have strong effects on young couples' perspectives of marriage?
Dr. Khaled M. Batarfi is a Saudi writer based in Jeddah. He can be reached at [email protected]. Follow him at Twitter:@kbatarfi
