The Shoura Council's recommendation to oblige Saudi men married to foreign women to assume responsibilities for their dependents and offspring has met with opposition from those who would like to see greater restrictions on marriages between nationalities. The Shoura Council recommended that in cases where the Saudi husband and father cannot provide for his dependents, they be referred to the Charitable Society for the Care of Saudi Families Abroad. Some Saudis would like to see the practice of marriage to foreign women banned altogether. They point to increasing rates of spinsterhood as one of its detrimental effects on society at large, and the fact that it takes up extra funds while the Saudi wife and children at home are neglected. Amal Abdullah says many homes experience fragile stability after a man marries a foreign woman. She describes the motives as due to “elderly adolescence” and says that the existence of a foreign wife and children creates a rift in relations between the father and his children. “I'm surprised the Shoura Council did not impose stricter controls on Saudi men marrying foreign women abroad. Marriage is a legitimate right, but its consequences must be carefully scrutinized, “she said. Umm Abdul Rahman does not hide her disappointment at the Shoura Council decision. “We expected the Council to vote unanimously in favor of stricter controls on marriage abroad to prevent some of the damaging consequences. There are issues concerning providing a proper upbringing for the children and giving them psychological stability,” she said. Umm Abdul Rahman relates the tale of a close relative who married a woman from an Arab country without the knowledge of his family. His constant traveling abroad and increased shopping expenses aroused his family's suspicions, and they discovered that he was married to another woman. Despite claiming that marriage abroad was cheaper than in the Kingdom, his spending on every trip abroad was considerable. After tremendous pressure from his family, he divorced his second wife. Umm Abdul Rahman believes the Shoura recommendation needs to be reconsidered and stricter controls on marriage abroad put in place to prevent Saudi men from being exploited financially. Halah Muhammad tells of her father's marriage to a foreign Arab woman. “After my father retired he and my mother were always fighting. He started traveling a lot and my brothers were worried that he would be exploited abroad, and their fears were proved justified. One day our father told us that he had married another woman abroad in search of the stability he could not find with our mother. The marriage became the talk of the family, but despite pressure to divorce his second wife, he started living with her in her country for long periods, neglecting my mother completely. But my mother still did not ask for a divorce, because my youngest sister was still unmarried and my mother feared a divorce would affect her studies and future.” Supporters, however, say that marriage should not take nationality into account, and that intra-nation marriages serve to cement relations between peoples. They also note that most Saudi men who marry foreign women are elderly or handicapped. Some Saudi youths say that marrying foreign women costs less and is more stable, and that after marriage Saudi girls become bossy and demanding and prefer their jobs to their marriage. Others disagree, and point to bitter experience as their teacher. Khalid, while traveling to an Arab country with friends, got to know of a family and one day was invited to visit them. They had a 25-year-old daughter. “At that point I was not thinking of marriage, and I returned to the Kingdom. The family started asking me to bring them some things on my next journey, and I used to buy them gifts. On one journey, I asked the father for his daughter's hand in marriage and he immediately agreed. The problems started when I informed my family. I refused to back down from my decision and began to stay away from my family. After a while my fiancée started calling me to ask about what properties my parents had, how much money we had and how I would provide for her future,” he said. “In the end, I canceled the engagement, as it would have been a marriage of convenience. I would advise any Saudi youth to marry a Saudi girl, as they are patient and will share the financial burdens.” – Okaz/SG __
