JEDDAH – Many expat women here struggle for their rights given the different legal framework in the country. Women who spoke to Saudi Gazette reported cases of physical and emotional torture and said they lack support and the right to get a legal divorce and khula in Saudi Arabia. Samia Khalid, mother of two, said when a wife initiates divorce and is denied, she has to resort to khula where she has to prove her husband' guilt or incompetent in court. “Many complaints don't get women anywhere because the judges ask you to sort the issue out and delay matters that sometimes need an urgent solution," the Indian national working in Dammam said. "When I tried to get a khula in 2005, my husband would not show up in the court. Officials kept telling me to try harder and that I should respect my marriage and my kids by staying in it. So, unless I had proof that my husband was an alcoholic, drug addict, a rapist or someone who had AIDS, I knew I was not getting anywhere. I never did. He threatened me and my family back home and that he would keep our child under his custody. It's been ten years now. And I still live with him, crippled by emotions, his threats and the hardships law imposes on someone like me who has no ‘wasta' and no money.” Haifa Hafiz, a 43-year-old Pakistani woman living in Riyadh, told Saudi Gazette that for ten years she has been fighting for divorce. She said she cannot afford the huge sum involved in getting a khula. To add to her agony, her family in Karachi has shunned her for her refusal to stay with her husband. “I have been living in this marriage for twenty hard years now. My husband thinks his image will be tarnished and he does not want to bear the burden of his mistakes. However, I have three children and a very orthodox family in Pakistan. My mother told me I cannot come home if he divorces me. So I decided to get a khula. Now I have to get it from Pakistan because he refuses to go to court and our marriage certificate is issued in Pakistan.” She said it was extremely difficult for women in her position with no contacts and financial help to move around, especially without a driver and not being allowed to drive. Sabiha Ashfaq, a 36-year-old housewife from Balochistan living in Jeddah, has been married for 21 years and has four children. She has been trying to work and earn to feed the family as her husband does not make enough to support them. “I cannot even travel without my husband's approval. He is my kafeel and my mahram. I have tried so hard to go back home during the last three years but he always uses emotional blackmail and keeps me here. I want to see my parents and live away from him.” She has been trying to file for divorce since the birth of their daughter who is now three years old. Humera Tahir, a 39-year-old mother of two, said there is a stigma attached to divorce and khula in South Asian communities and it is hard for expatriates living in Saudi Arabia because of the legal constraints and restricted freedom of movement for women in general. “My husband kept me here for five years. After that I left for India and thanks to my father who was alive then, we got my khula papers ready. I came back to Jeddah and was hired as a teacher and the school I work for is my sponsor. However I see the difference in mentalities and how men generally think in our countries. I was lucky to have a father who helped me. My brothers refused and till date curse me. My mother never wants to have me around. She feels ashamed of me and my children.” She said it is a tragedy that many Asians look down upon the practice of divorce. "Most of them are Muslims and even then they frown upon what is permissible under the Islamic Shariah,” she said.
