Maha Al-Shehri Most men do not understand the Islamic term “qawamah”, which means that men are responsible for their families and should act as their guardians. Although “qawamah” is all about cooperation between men and women, it is sometimes used by husbands as an excuse to be violent and to exercise control over their wives. Some men even want to think for women and make decisions on their behalf. The meaning of “qawamah” in Arabic is to take care of someone or something. However, some men become violent and abuse women instead of treating them gently. Thus, these men become a burden instead of a support for women. This is unacceptable, and no man should ever succumb to such behavior. According to Shariah, “qawamah” depends on physical ability differences between men and women. There is nothing discriminatory about that. Allah says in the Holy Qur'an: “Men are in charge of women by (right of) what Allah has given one over the other.” (4:34). Some scholars have interpreted this verse to mean that some men and women were given more abilities than others. It is not reasonable to say all men have more abilities than women. If men are capable of understanding the meaning and interpretation of this verse, they will grant women their rights, have more confidence in them and let them make their own decisions without any sort of interference. We often try to come up with positive ideas based on religion. I say if a person has a religion, he/she will find the basis for goodness and virtue in the religion. In many cases, we observe negative behavior that reflects some form of religiosity but does not have any humanitarian values.
Moreover, lots of concepts that people have are based on customs and traditions and have nothing to do with religion. It is sad to see norms and traditions replace mind and Shariah. That is why we have these mainstream traditional values and ideas about women. We need to be more enlightened about this issue. Men should try to be gentle with women and should continue to protect and take care of them but not control them. Helping women will make them feel confident and capable of overcoming hurdles. It will enable them to be successful, independent and more efficient in life.
