DOROTHY Parker, the sharp tongued American wit of the first half of the last century, famously said of a Broadway performance of the young Katherine Hepburn in the 1930s that Miss Hepburn ran “the gamut of emotions from A to B,” referring to the young actress's seeming lack of passion in her performance. I thought about this often quoted witticism the other day and of how two people can react differently to the same situation when, while sitting in my parked car, I witnessed one of Jeddah's many daily auto accidents. This was a minor one – two gentlemen (let's call them ‘A' and ‘B') failing to pause at the entry to one of the small intersections that crisscross many of the city's back streets ended up with their cars embracing one another in the center of the street. Neither of the men was hurt, but they had had a shock and their cars were clearly going to need some costly repair work. As I say there was nothing remarkable about this as it happens every day. What was interesting to me from my vantage point was the different reactions of the two men. One gentleman (‘A') hurriedly got out of his car took a deep breath and with arms flailing about made a beeline for the other vehicle and began a rant of accusation. Clearly in his opinion the best defense was a good offense, and he was going to be the first to get his started. The second gentleman (‘B') took his time getting out of his vehicle, and when he did emerge, it was only to find the first man standing over him with his arms, hands and fingers all employed in an intricate ballet all of which was meant to express his incredulity at the criminal carelessness of the other driver which had so clearly caused the unexpected and unfortunate meeting of their two vehicles. Let me pause to say that from my vantage point as an impartial witness to the accident, I would have thought that Gentleman A was every bit as responsible as Gentleman B and possibly just a bit more so. I should also add that there was no language problem between the two gentlemen, which often does happen in multicultural Jeddah. Both of them were clearly Arabic speakers and citizens of the Kingdom. So Gentleman A, sensing perhaps that he was somewhat in the wrong or perhaps simply proceeding in a manner to which he was accustomed, continued his impromptu ballet of disbelief at how Gentleman B could possibly have driven in such a careless manner as to cause this accident. None of this is in the least bit unusual. The streets of Jeddah are filled with such animated and expressive behavior. Indeed one might even suggest that since the city lacks such cultural institutions as live theater, grand opera and ballet, that those so inclined use the streets as the venue for the display of their artistic talents. In other words, ‘A' was simply doing what many people do, and apart from the fact that he was doing such a good job of it that one suspected that he was the veteran of many previous performances, there was nothing particularly noteworthy about his behavior. What was curious was to see how Gentleman B responded, and what a great contrast he made with Gentleman A. ‘B' got out of his car and completely ignored the expressive gestures and fancy footwork of ‘A.' One might have thought that ‘B' was in a state of shock, perhaps he had hit his head upon the impact of the two vehicles. But no, he calmly turned his back on ‘A,' and never uttering a word, he began a close inspection of the damage done to his vehicle, bending to look under the body of the car to see if the bumper could be pulled out so that the wheel would be freed. Gentleman A was a bit caught off guard by this demonstration of sangfroid. After all, an artist can handle a less than enthusiastic response from his audience when he is making his curtain call, but no one expects the audience to turn its back on him during the actual performance. However, after a momentary pause, ‘A' decided that as he had already started on a course of action, this was no time to change horses in the middle of the stream. So off he went to even greater expressions of incredulity and even louder protestations of his complete innocence in the matter. Indeed to hear him talk, you would have thought that he had never driven the other vehicle, that he had never seen it before, indeed that he did not even possess a driving license, which of course was entirely possible. Gentleman B paid no attention to ‘A' at all. You might have thought that he was deaf, but clearly he was not blind, and the antics of ‘A' were both a feast for the eyes and the ears. After inspecting the underbody of his car, ‘B' rose to his feet and, I thought: “Ah, now the fun shall begin.” Apparently, Gentleman A thought the same because you could see him, like a fencer, go into an ‘en garde' position. But Gentleman B, amazed us both, as he calmly went to the other car and began a complete inspection of the damage done, all the while ignoring Gentleman A. By now it was becoming evident that ‘A' did not know what to do. Clearly in his past performances he had never encountered such an audience. He was beginning to flag; his arms were beginning to lose their flail; and clearly his heart was no longer in it. Like a matador in the bull ring, Gentleman B swiftly put ‘A' out of his misery. He reached into his thobe and instead of a sword, he drew out a mobile phone, turned his back on ‘A' and walking several steps away proceeded to make a phone call. Gentleman A was completely devastated, demoralized, in short, defeated. He walked over to the side of the road and sat on the curb under a tree holding his head in his hands. I was sorry to see such a great artist come to the end of his days in such a manner, but clearly he had come up against a force with which he had not reckoned. However, I suspected that his talents would not be wasted and that he would rise again to perform on another day. At that point I drove away and left Gentlemen A and B with their very different emotions to act out the remainder of their play in private. Really, you have to laugh. __
