Saudi Gazette report UNAIZAH — When a wife achieves success in her job, the husband should be the first person to offer her his congratulations as he has partly contributed to her success, but the reality is usually different. Why do some husbands feel jealous of their wives success, and how can wives strike a balance between their success and their husbands' contentment? A recent report in Al-Riyadh daily said Awatif Al-Abdulkareem questioned whether a husband's jealousy is normal or not. She said that she noticed great jealousy from her husband when she achieved success in her career, especially when these achievements got wide media publicity. Her husband's jealousy was more accentuated because she is only a secondary school graduate, while he holds a college degree. She has repeatedly tried to overcome her differences with her husband, but was not able to do so. She finally had to leave the job that she greatly enjoyed for the sake of her marital life. Ilham Abdulkareem said a husband's jealousy of his wife is mostly due to the success and achievements she has accomplished in her job, at a time when he could not achieve similar success. She said this is due to the husband having an inferiority complex and suffers from depression, even though he should feel proud of his wife's success, as her success is also his. Abdulaziz Al-Naser said it is normal that a husband should be protective and jealous of his wife. He believes that such jealousy may be because some husbands believe that their wives will surpass them in terms of achievements and success. Nujoom Al-Braheem said a wife should not make her husband feel inferior, but rather share her success with him, as she could not have achieved her success without his patience and support. Dr. Abdulrazzaq Kassar, a human resources development expert, said not all husbands feel jealous of their wives' success. On the contrary, some husbands are very happy when their wives achieve success in their jobs and celebrate success together. He said some husbands' jealousy is due to their wrong understanding of Islamic teachings regarding marital responsibility. Such men believe that they should be better than their wives and one step above them physically, mentally, and financially. He said it is regrettable that some husbands confuse freedom with participation and do not allow their wives the freedom of being able to work and accomplish things unless they participate directly with their wives in such achievements. Such husbands do not understand that wives should have the freedom to maintain high self-esteem, practice their hobbies and excel in any field. However, wives' success should not undermine their marital relationship with their husbands, he said. Kassar pointed out some husbands believe that having their wives participate in decision-making may make them feel conceited, and negatively affect the husband's personality. Husbands should believe that their wives' success is also theirs and should discuss with their wives their mutual experiences and future together. Some husbands feel that they should enjoy undivided attention from their wives and if they allow them to work, then that will take away that attention. However, he said that some wives are responsible for their husbands' jealousy of their work when they neglect their husbands and become completely involved in their careers. Some wives may even set certain conditions and threaten their husbands that if these conditions are not met, they will not remain with their husbands. He said couples should have continued meaningful dialogue to discuss obstacles in their lives. Such dialogue should concentrate on the positive points more than negative ones. He added that husbands should view their wives as human beings and not just wives, and in return, wives should make their husbands feel that they need their opinions and support.
