SAD to say that unlike the ladybug in the children's nursery rhyme, the litterbugs of Jeddah seem to have no intention of flying away anytime soon. What does, however, fly out of their hands from car windows, in parks or gardens, along the Corniche, even from the balconies of high rise apartments is an amazing assortment of litter. In fact making use of their innate creative talents, the litterbugs of the city have, if not redefined, certainly expanded upon that term. Almost anything can be tossed out of the window of the car in front of you. We are not talking here of tissues or half smoked cigarettes which in other parts of the world would be bad enough. What about empty soda cans and chicken bones and the paper containers the fried chicken originally came in? And ask yourself: Would you really be surprised to find half a plate of kabsa being launched from a back window as if it were an offering to the occupants of the International Space Station? And then there is the industrious driver who decides to make use of one of the city's seemingly interminable red lights to do a little spring cleaning. While you have to give him full marks for being so car-proud, you also have to wonder why he needed to empty the entire contents of his ashtray and any other accumulated rubbish onto the street beneath his car. We can often imagine that we are archeologists as we walk through parks, gardens and along the beach and come across the remains of previous civilizations. Enough evidence has been left behind for us to reconstruct, like a forensic scientist, when, how much and, above all, what everyone had for dinner. Ah, we might say, as we study one such mound of leavings: “They did have a good time, and there were a lot of them, but, sad to say, they didn't seem to like the hummus too much – might have been a bit too salty.” And, yes, in the interest of fairness and in the defense of some of the litterbugs can be added that the city has not provided an adequate supply of receptacles for waste in all areas. At the recently created park at the downtown lagoon, there are only two small wastepaper basket size trash cans hanging from a fence at the parking lot near the mosque. There is nothing in the park at all. However, does this really justify decamping after your picnic and leaving your leftovers behind? At least they could be neatly packed and left lying against a wall for someone to collect, or, dare we even suggest it, put in the back of a car and carried to the nearest dumpster. All of this is a fact of life here, but what is to be done? Years ago, someone suggested the creation of jobs for unemployed young men by empowering them to educate, advise, remonstrate with, and perhaps even fine, litterbugs: a sort of Litter Police. Of course, nothing ever came of it, and there are probably thousands of reasons why it would not work. But let's not be so negative and dismiss this idea out of hand. Let's look for a moment at the positive side. It would provide jobs for a large number of young men thus helping to solve the problem of unemployment. Litter policemen would be required to undergo a training program which would develop their interpersonal and communication skills in order to be able to deal appropriately with the public. They would be provided good salaries (part of which might be offset by littering fines collected by the city), appropriate job titles, impressive badges, and stylish uniforms. And an entire bureaucracy could be created with all the jobs that that entails: First, a modest start with a simple office attached to a municipal department, which could then be upgraded to a Division, an independent Agency, a Center, an Institute and finally, a Ministry! There would of course be our hardworking Litter Police, but also (and let us paint with a broad brush), there could be District Supervisors, General Inspectors, Quality Control Experts, Public Relations Officers, IT Specialists, and Administrative Officers providing jobs for thousands and consigning unemployment to the dustbin of history. But before getting carried away, let us return to the initial idea of the stalwart youth who would form the backbone of the Litter Police. The hours would not be at all inconvenient for these presently jobless young men, as they would mostly work at night which is the part of the day with which the majority of these unemployed “shabab” are most familiar. They would be responsible for certain districts and the quality of their work could easily be judged by the amount of litter (or lack of it) found in the areas under their control. Incentives, promotion schemes, awards (Litter Policeman of the Month) could all be devised. And then if all goes well, and finally the day comes when there is, literally, no litter in Jeddah, we will truly be able to say that the litterbugs have flown away. Really, you have to laugh. __
