I RECEIVED a beautiful message that the administration of a school in the US sent to parents a few weeks before exams informing them that their children's exams are to soon start and that the administration appreciates the parents' keenness to see their children successful. The message reminded parents that among their children there are artists who do not need to understand mathematics, there are entrepreneurs who do not care about history and literature, there are musicians who do not care about their chemistry grades and athletes whose physical fitness is more important than physics. The message added that if your child gets a high score, then this is great. However, if he or she does not, then the school hopes parents will not deprive them of their self-confidence and dignity. We should be aware that we are different, that there are individual differences between us and that our children are not alike; they have different personalities, talents and potential. Twins differ from each other in different ways despite being exposed to the same education and growing up in the same environment. When are we going to stop blaming and underestimating our children and comparing them to others? Let us imagine the impact of negative words on children and on their confidence and pride. Comparing them to others demolishes their personalities. This not only destroys children but also destroys parents. Parents who compare their children with others always suffer. They always wonder why their children fail and the children of others succeed. They feel they have met their children's needs and wonder where they went wrong, as their children do not live up to their expectations. In this way, the cycle of self-abuse and self-denial continues to include everyone. In the end, negative feelings of frustration, depression, despair, jealousy and envy bring misery and mental and physical diseases. I remembered a joke in this context in which a parent urged his son to study and told him that Napoleon was an excellent student. His son replied, "I know father, Napoleon was also an emperor when he was your age." It is necessary for parents to accept the differences in their children and not to compare them with others. It is natural that the sons of others are smarter and more successful than our children because God is the Giver, and He gave me wisdom to test the extent of my ability to raise good children and not to compare them with others, something that only leads to unhappiness, sorrow, depression and despair.
