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Build bridges, not fences
Published in The Saudi Gazette on 09 - 12 - 2016

My little daughter once asked me: "Dad, what do you think is the cause of most of the problems in the world, today?"
Without batting an eyelash, I said that the cause of most of the problems in the world today was "selfishness."
I went on to elaborate on the topic reinforcing facts and embellishing my thoughts with a quote from the great Mahatma Gandhi who said, "There is enough in this world to satisfy human need, but there is not enough in this world to satisfy human greed."
I had long forgotten the question of my child and my answer to that question.
But then recently I saw two of my neighbors, who come from two different countries but are living within the cozy confines of a well-secured Western compound, trying to build picket fences around their respective villas, thereby physically narrowing the pathway between their villas in an attempt to increase the virtual distance between them.
It got me thinking of my response to the question of my daughter.
Many of my age and generation speak of their childhood with a lot of nostalgia and regret.
It was a time when we lived in a very close-knit community. One person's problem became a community problem. Whether there was a crisis or a moment of celebration, everyone used to partake in the same and share the joys and sorrows alike. Most of us wonder with great regret where those days have gone.
The art of community living, which was so prevalent, enjoyable and so much a part of our lives seems to have disappeared.
"Community" is a beautiful word, and every single one of us feels a deep psychological need for it.
But over the years, it is the "selfishness" or "self-centeredness" of man that has got the better of him. We started building "fences" around us, around our families, to block out our neighbors, to insulate ourselves, to maintain privacy and to foster separateness.
Nuclear families and gated communities have become the order of the day. Since we have become insulated from the joys and sorrows of those around us and have started living in our respective insulated cubicles, we have started to lose our much-needed connections. We have lost our ability to reach out. We have started to lose the "art" of community living.
As a child, I used to live in a community with a bunch of, friends in a small and cozy compound called Yarada Park in the coastal town of Visakhapatnam in South India.
Yarada Park was a microcosm of India. We had neighbors from different parts of India. They spoke different languages and were of different religious beliefs, but it was a community where there were hardly any differences. Everyone had a place of respect in the community, each contributed his might and kept the community moving in the true spirit of sharing and harmony. It is this spirit that enabled most of the children raised in YP to become truly global citizens with a cosmopolitan outlook and a positive attitude.
I feel a strange sense of longing for such a life. I think it is not just about me, but basically we all crave to have a great community and come to think of it, it is a deep psychological need. We all crave to belong, to know that we are part of a larger "whole." It gives us a sense of security, safety and happiness.
We should strive to bring that sense of community living back into our lives.
As part of the corporate world, we have seen that the best organizations foster community and build workplaces where people feel safe to be themselves, to be part of the "whole."
Maybe we should try to make this idea transcend the boundaries of our workplaces, to take it out into the larger world.
Yes, we should stop worrying about building fences and instead create true security by building bridges!


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