We all agree that women have proved themselves in fields such as education despite the many obstacles they encounter. One of the main obstacles is being deprived of their rights to continue education or work. It is generally accepted that it is the male authority which tries to deprive women of these rights. Many women say that men fear getting married to successful businesswomen or college-educated women because they are afraid they will not have the upper hand in decision-making or that they will be overshadowed by their wives' success. On the other hand some women believe that men often help women in achieving success. So is it true that men really hate women's success? Although historically men have excelled in education and business more than their counterparts, there have always been many women who achieved a lot in these fields. Today women are more persistent and insist on completing their education and earning higher degrees. This has made some girls postpone getting married so that they can complete their education. But some women have balanced education and marriage with the support and help of their caring and appreciative husbands. Despite recent progress, some men still love to be authoritative and prevent their female family members, be it their sisters, daughters or wives, from completing their university education, especially if it's abroad. Some men will not allow women to work and restrict their role to household chores only. Social experts say men's rejection can be attributed to their feeling that they should be the breadwinners. Some men don't want their female relatives to work because of what they hear and see in mixed environments where women work. Yet some men believe that women have the right to attain the highest levels of achievement in education and work. In Arab societies, women are depicted as weak beings who cannot defend themselves in a man's world. They are often prevented from going outside under the pretext that it is a man's responsibility to work and provide for his family. Contradiction While many men refuse to allow their female relatives to work as nurses or doctors, they also at the same time refuse to allow a male doctor or nurse to treat their female relatives. This is a contradiction. Bank worker Soad says she is criticized daily by men when she calls them to market bank products or solve their problems. “They always tell me to quit my job and stay at home to serve my family. Some of them even offer to help find a rich businessman to marry so that I do not need to work. But there are those who wish me success in my work,” she said, according to a report in Al-Riyadh newspaper. But Soad faced the challenges and convinced some of her male relatives, who objected to her work, that she needed it to be an active member of society. Soad says she follows Islamic principles in her work and that Islam does not prohibit women from working. Mona wanted to be a plastic artist but could not take a plastic arts course because her brother did not want her to intermingle with male plastic artists. “Although my brother admires my drawings, he still refuses to let me join a course to hone my skills,” Mona said. She is now waiting to get married so that she can solve this problem and develop her skills. Successful cases Social activist Enam Al-Asfour believes many men understand the importance of women's participation in economic development and in helping with living costs. Enam says that “today's life necessitates men and women to both work so that they can cover the high cost of living.” She thinks that some men are selfish and want to restrict the role of women to one thing. “This gap between men and women can be bridged by the balanced upbringing of women. Life is not a diploma you hang on the wall. Life is built by good morals and polite behavior and mutual respect.” Writer Nada Al-Zuhairi believes men prefer not to marry successful women because these women will threaten their authority. “Some men use violence against their female family members, daughters, sisters and wives to exercise their authority and prevent them from wearing certain clothes and beat them if they challenge their authority.” Nada believes that having equal academic, cultural and social backgrounds helps in making marriages successful. “Many women who have advanced degrees married men with lower educational levels out of fear of missing the chance to get married. But their marriages failed,” she said. Family and education specialist Fawziya Al-Hani said some men are very cooperative and help their female family members become successful by supporting them. Fawziya advises men and women to share their opinions and to attempt to understand each other so that their marriages will survive. “Sharing opinions is better than taking them without asking your husband or wife. Many women have succeeded in changing the mentality of their husbands and their traditional thinking about women,” she said.
