I grew up in a dysfunctional family setting in the atmosphere of alcoholism, physical and emotional abuse that came from my father. Without a positive father figure, I was basically developing antisocial behavior and an inclination to violence. I began to imitate what I was being exposed to. It affected my interaction with my older brother, classmates, teachers and even animals. Nothing was exempt from the sadistic outpouring of pent up anger and rage! At 13, I fell into association with similar children, but because they weren't as driven as I was, I quickly became bored with them. I began to hang out with the young adult type who welcomed my willingness to participate with no reservations in anything under the title of alcohol, drugs, crime, violence and racism. The period of reform school (adolescent jail) began, and that environment also shaped me, refining crime inclination to a full-time skill. I was released after three years of this (reform period) and I was a walking grenade. Searching for a point of focus to release this rage I became associated with paramilitary racist group of young adults. At 16, I found myself incarcerated serving a 6-1/2 years sentence in the California Youth Authority for robbery, assault and weapons charges. Immediately I fell in step with the gangs of “white supremacy” and cultivated my rage and anger into pure “Hate” of all people who were not “Anglo Saxon.” I began correspondence with the Ku Klux Klan (KKK), and upon my release on parole, I was a full-fledged card-carrying hate-monger. My parole was violated for possession of weapons and suspicion of robberies. With this last violation of parole, at the age of 20, the search for peace began. I had so much rage and hatred inside me for so many years, it was beginning to consume me from the inside out. I was not exploding, but imploding! In a haze of anger and rage, I found myself stripped naked in solitary confinement with not even a mattress. Only me and a styrofoam cup. While I was there my daughter was born. I began to review my past and assess my future. I began thinking of the many victims' lives I had affected. I could see myself in prison for life if this past was to continue into the future. I said to myself, “Clint, you must make a choice between this evil or a future good.” I began searching for a purity to purge the cancer of hate from inside me. I wanted to be loved and to love in a pure sense. I moved to Montana and was arrested for burglary. I was sentenced and served 2-1/2 years of a 5-year sentence, and was then released on parole, which I successfully completed. I became involved with human rights groups and I started my own human rights group, C.H.E.R.E. (Children Escaping Racist Environments). My goal was to reach out to children to help them escape the environmental circumstances that had overwhelmed me once. I wanted to give back where I was once the problem, but I was still involved in crime. I took part in possession of explosives and was arrested by the federal government and sentenced to 35 months in federal prison. The search for truth began upon my arrival to federal prison. An African American offered to assist me in my cosmetic needs. He said he was a Muslim, and Muslims are commanded to help those in need. It struck my interest to check this Islamic thing out. However, I was under the impression that this was a religion exclusively for African Americans. I was thinking, no way I can become a Muslim, I'm white! Still, I asked this brother for some literature on Islam. I found out about the universality of it, how it transcends color, ethnicity and race. It sounded real and pure. It began to appeal to me. This brother invited me to Jum'ah (Friday) service. I was given a copy of the Qur'an, and as I read the translation, I felt the purity and truth of it. There was no hocus-pocus, no spookism, no mysticism, just plain, simple understanding of the “Truth.” When I heard the Adhan (the call to prayer) I felt a closeness to God that penetrated my heart and soul. After some research and study of the Qur'an, I discovered its total infallibility, no contradictions in it. Here was Islam, based on the belief in One God who created the creation itself out of nothing, and the fact that this book I was reading (the Qur'an) had not one vowel or language changed in over 1,400 years was a miracle in itself. Thus, I was sold on the oneness of God and the unity of Islam. There is only one God and one Religion, and religion is “submission” to the one God. This is the meaning of Islam. After years of falsehood, half-truths, following others on the road, and then, from within a place (prison) where more than one million people are cast away, the same environment that once honed my anger and hate to a razor sharpness was now the place where Islam greeted me and proceeded to change me into a “Servant of (the Source of) Peace.” Islam filled the spiritual void by teaching me my beginning and end, has given contentment, a peace, a serenity to me these words cannot adequately describe. My purpose is clear, my direction is straight. Islam has, through its truth, taught me humility and the true worship of God. On the last day, it will not matter if I was black or white, rich or poor, powerful or weak in power, nor will it matter about all mankind. Rather it will be about one's deeds good and bad that an individual is personally responsible for and will be punished and rewarded accordingly. In closing, the metamorphosis has now come full circle. I have found “Truth” in God (all praises to Him, creator of mankind, angel and jinn, all that exists in the heavens and earth). God (Whom all praise is due) has [many] names or attributes, one attribute is Salam (peace). I have found this Peace, I am now “Abdus Salam,” the slave and servant of The Originator of the one and only source of Peace ... God, The Most High, Whom all praise is due. Coutesy: www.islamreligion.com __
