II “And among His Signs is this, that He created for you mates from among yourselves, that you may find repose in them, and He has put between you affection and mercy. Verily, in that are indeed signs for a people who reflect.” (Qur'an 30:21) Marriage is the most ancient of human social institutions. Marriage came into existence with the creation of the first man and woman: Adam and Eve. All the prophets since were sent as examples for their communities, and every prophet upheld the institution of marriage as the divinely-sanctioned expression of companionship. Even today, it is still considered more right and proper that couples introduce each other as: “My wife” or “my husband” rather than “my partner”. For it is through marriage that men and woman legally fulfill their carnal desires, and so on. Over the course of time, some groups have come to hold extreme beliefs about the opposite sex and sexuality. Women, in particular, were considered evil by many, and so contact with them had to be kept to a minimum. Thus, monasticism, with its lifetime of abstention and celibacy, was invented by those who wanted what they reckoned to be a pious alternative to marriage and a life more godly. “Then, We sent after them, Our Messengers, and We sent ‘Isa (Jesus) son of Maryam (Mary), and gave him the Injeel (Gospel). And We ordained in the hearts of those who followed him, compassion and mercy. But the monasticism which they invented for themselves, We did not prescribe for them, but (they sought it) only to please Allah therewith, but they did not observe it with the right observance. So We gave those among them who believed, their (due) reward, but many of them are Fasiqun (rebellious, disobedient to Allah).” (Qur'an 57:27) The only family that monks would know (Christian, Buddhist, or otherwise) would be their fellow monks at the monastery or temple. In the case of Christianity, not only men, but also women, could attain the pious ranks by becoming nuns. This unnatural situation has often led to a great number of social vices, such as child abuse, homosexuality and illegitimate relations actually occurring among the cloistered – all of which are considered actual carnal sins. Those Muslim heretics who have followed the non-Islamic practice of abstention and hermitage, or who have at least claimed to have taken an even more pious path to God than the prophets themselves, have similarly succumbed to these same vices and to an equally scandalous degree. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) in his own lifetime made clear his feelings at the suggestion that marriage could be an obstacle to drawing closer to God. Once, a man vowed to the Prophet (peace be upon him) that he would have nothing to do with women, that is, to never marry. The Prophet (peace be upon him) responded by sternly declaring: “By Allah! I am the most God-fearing amongst you! Yet … I marry! Whoever turns away from my sunnah (inspired way) is not from me (i.e. not a true believer).” “Say (O Muhammad SAW to mankind): “If you (really) love Allah then follow me (i.e. accept Islamic Monotheism, follow the Qur'an and the Sunnah), Allah will love you and forgive you your sins. And Allah is Oft-Forgiving, Most Merciful.” (Qur'an 3:31) In reality, far from viewing marriage as bad for one's faith, Muslims hold marriage to be an integral part of their religious devotion. As mentioned before, Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) explicitly stated that marriage is half of the religion (of Islam). In other words, perhaps half of all Islamic virtues, such as fidelity, chastity, charity, generosity, tolerance, gentleness, striving, patience, love, empathy, compassion, caring, learning, teaching, reliability, courage, mercy, forbearance, forgiveness, etc., find their natural expression through married life. Hence, in Islam, God-consciousness and good character are supposed to be the principle criteria that a spouse looks for in his or her prospective marriage partner. Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him) said: “A woman is married for (one of) four reasons: her wealth, her status, her beauty and her religious devotion. So marry the religious woman, else you be a loser.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari) Undoubtedly, the social malaise and decay that is prevalent in many parts of the non-Islamic world also finds expression in some parts of the Muslim world as well. Nevertheless, promiscuity, fornication and adultery are still roundly condemned throughout Islamic societies and have yet to be decriminalized to the level of merely “fooling around”, “playing the field” or other such trivial pursuits. Indeed, Muslims still recognize and acknowledge the great destructiveness that pre-marital and extra-marital relationships have on communities. In fact the Qur'an makes clear that the mere accusation of impropriety carries very severe consequences in this life and the next. “And those who accuse chaste women, and produce not four witnesses, flog them with eighty stripes, and reject their testimony forever. They indeed are the Fasiqun (liars, rebellious, disobedient to Allah).” (Qur'an 24:4) And “Verily, those who accuse chaste women, who never even think of anything touching their chastity and are good believers,— are cursed in this life and in the Hereafter, and for them will be a great torment.” (Qur'an 24:23) Marriage in Islam, however, or rather, marriage according to Islam, is in and of itself a vehicle for securing freedom for women. No greater example of the perfect Islamic marriage exists than that of Prophet Muhammad (peace be upon him), who told his followers: “The best of you are those who best treat their women. And I am the best of people to my women.” The Prophet's (peace be upon him) beloved wife A'isha attested to the freedom her husband's treatment afforded her when she said: “He always joined in the housework and would at times mend his clothes, repair his shoes and sweep the floor. He would milk, tether and feed his animals and do household chores.” (Saheeh Al-Bukhari) “Indeed in the Messenger of Allah (Muhammad SAW) you have a good example to follow for him who hopes for (the Meeting with) Allah and the Last Day and remembers Allah much.” (Qur'an 33:21) To be continued
