The 9th of September, 2009 (9/9/2009) was over without incident, the victims of the daily terrorist attacks in Iraq and the Israeli-related news and others notwithstanding. This is although “experts” and seers foresaw the end of the world on that day, in the form of a massive outbreak of swine flu, or a black hole that would swallow the entire planet with everyone and everything on it. Since many of these apocalyptic predictions are based on the interpretations of the Book of Revelation, the last book of the New Testament Bible, I find the focus on number nine to be strange, because as I understood from reading this book, it is rather the number six that is evil, while the number seven is a number of good fortune. As such, there was no specific role mentioned for number nine. The Christian Zionists who interpret the Book of Revelation to suit the myth of their salvation at the hands of the returning Christ, and the death of the rest of the people who follow the antichrist, have a countdown to Armageddon on the Internet. However, I do not believe it, and therefore did not fasten the safety belt in my chair at the office in preparation for ascension, or for falling into the devil's hellish pit. Nevertheless, I admit that I became more interested in this date, when I read that China reported around 18 thousand marriages that day, breaking the previous record of 8/8/2008, although the Chinese consider the number 8 to be the lucky number. Also, I had my own reasons to follow 9/9/2009, because that is also the date of my marriage anniversary, which did not lead to the end of the world, as it is clear from the fact that I am writing this article, and from the survival of those who are reading it now. Still, I want to remain objective, as would be required by professional integrity: at the end of my honeymoon in St. Tropez, I and my bride launched the October 6 war which ended in a tie, following the catastrophe of 1967, and thus I can claim that I indeed had a share in the heroic crossing of the canal. What I fear now is that following the marriage of thousands of Chinese citizens, these hasty marriages would cause domestic wars that will overflow beyond the borders of China, regardless of the famous wall in place, into Cambodia or Vietnam, repeating the scenario of the sixties. When I was reading about the Chinese marriages, I was wondering: how can all these people fall in love and get married in one day? I then started also wondering why we say “fell” in love, instead of “rose” in love. Is the reason behind this that the [male] lover falls heavily, and that love obscures his reason until he wakes up and it is too late? I also wondered, how many among those thousands were getting married for second time last Wednesday, and do the betrothed for the second time realize that it is going to be a disappointment sooner or later? I want to say here that the wife wants to be a newspaper that her husband carries every morning, and he wants it to be a newspaper that he replaces every day. I have been married for a long time, and am very happy as my wife tells me. Yet, I noticed that brides always wear white in weddings, the symbol of purity and chastity, while the grooms wear black suits. Is the colour, once again, proof that his “fall is agonizing”, or that he is on the verge of going into the unknown? It seems that I have digressed, because I started with the intention to present the readers with a set of non-political news along with quick commentary, but then 9/9 seemed to have taken over all my other interests for the day. I shall continue hence with some news combining politics and marriage. In fact, all the London newspapers published last week a story that can be summarized in the following manner: the French President Nicolas Sarkozy chooses short assistants to be around him, and when he gave a speech in Normandy, his aides searched the city first, for some short citizens to stand next to him and conceal his true height. There were then pictures and comparisons between him and other short figures throughout history. I found this British news coverage to be seething with envy, because the French President, and despite his short height, is married to Carla Bruni, the gorgeous singer and supermodel who is a handful taller than her husband, even before wearing high heels. Also, there isn't a British first lady who is as tall or as beautiful as Carla Bruni (Queen Elizabeth is even shorter than Sarkozy himself). The London newspaper then reminded us that during the D-Day celebrations in Normandy, the French President stood between Gordon Brown who is 180 cm tall, and Barrack Obama, who is almost 186 cm: between these two, Sarkozy was like “Wednesday in the middle of the week”, as we say in Lebanon. When I was little, I used to hear what loosely translates as “every short person is trouble, and every tall person is a bit dim witted”. As such, I do not know how Sarkozy seduced Carla and Cecilia before her, and he must have some hidden talents which people like us cannot see. The reader will thus accept, even if he denies this, to be so short that if an egg fell out of his pocket, it would not break, all in return for marrying Carla Bruni.
