When the child first begins to speak in the West, he says the words Mama, Papa, and might then continue and say “not fair”. He is thus conditioned to always expect justice and then to receive it. In our countries, however, the child says Mama, Papa, and then continues after that with: bread, as he knows that this is the most he will ever get, thus leaving justice to its own people. There is no justice in this world. Had there been any real justice, Dick Cheney, Donald Rumsfeld and the rest of the gang of war from neoconservatives to other American Likudniks would have been in the Guantanamo prison, guarded by two hundred terrorist suspects who were detained there for eight years without having been charged. Traitors among the Iraqi dissidents who collaborated with the occupation would have been crucified and hung on the gates of Baghdad. One million innocent Iraqis and 4500 young American soldiers would have been alive, while those who sought to kill them would have been rotting, in secret prisons, around the world. Al-Qaeda would have been completely destroyed along with its terrorist ideology, and the thousands, who have fallen victim to al-Qaeda's terrorism, and who are mostly Muslim by the way, would have been alive and well, surrounded by their parents and loved ones. There would have been a democratic rule in Iraq, Afghanistan and every other country. But Benjamin Netanyahu, Avigdor Lieberman, Meir Dagan and the other terrorists in the fascistic Israeli government and army, namely 11 thousand, would have been in prison, while the 11 thousand Palestinian prisoners would have been free in their own country. The Palestinian refugees in the camps in Lebanon, Syria and Jordan would have been the ones residing in the settlers' homes in the West Bank, while those thieves would have returned to Europe and America, from where they came. The international war crimes tribunal in The Hague would have been trying the senior criminals, starting with the Israeli leaders who planned to steal Palestine from its own people, then their accomplices in Britain and America. Germany and Israel would have been paying German-style reparations to the Palestinians who have been displaced in compensation to the Jews for the Nazi crimes against them. Military spending in every country would have been suspended, and military budgets would have been spent on healthcare, the fight against global poverty, and the promotion of education. Rains from the hurricanes, which kill and wreak havoc each year from the China Sea to the Caribbean, would have dropped on Arab deserts, growing crops and nourishing the cattle. Half of Arab rulers would have disappeared (not all, but half), and half of the disappeared half, or a quarter of them all, would have been succeeded by their opponents who are now in prison. (Why half? because some Arab rulers are better than their people: Some are liberals who are seeking progress and modernity while their people represent centuries of ignorance and want to live in a past that has never existed). The tongues of misguided, misleading, and inflammatory extremists among the television preachers in our countries would have been cut, along with those of the Zionist Christian Evangelicals and the settler rabbis in their own countries. Then, they would have been placed, all together, in a prison guarded by men from Blackwater. I pause here to say that the above reflects my national and humanistic interests. But now, I shall continue with what concerns me personally. Had there been any real justice, I would have been the author of “War and Peace”, “Les Miserables” and the trilogy of Naguib Mahfouz. Leo Tolstoy, Victor Hugo and Naguib Mahfouz would have been the journalists whom no one ever believed in their lives, and who would have been already forgotten by people, even before they died. I would have been a new Ahmed Shawki or Nizar Qabbani. The Heads of States and Governments, and ministers would have been knocking on my door and trying to contact me. I would have had the ability to write an article that causes a government, or a whole regime, to collapse. I would have been more popular than Gamal Abdel Nasser. Arab peoples from the thunderous Ocean to the rebellious Gulf would have followed me, even if I were to lose a war in six days. I would have had the power to prevent Arab countries from buying weapons that are only used against citizens and neighbours, and I would have ordered them instead to spend their money on modern education. I would have prevented corruption in the Arab world, or given myself ten percent of it if I could not stop it. I would have receuved millions of dollars in bonuses instead of the bankers who ruined the global economy and then rewarded themselves for this ruin. I would have sent the chairmen of certain banks (I have a list, actually) to the Guantanamo Bay prison to join Cheney, Rumsfeld and the rest of the gang. I would have been as wealthy as Warren Buffet, as handsome as Brad Pitt, and as witty and funny as Ahmed Ragab, instead of being as handsome as Warren Buffet, as wealthy as Ahmed Ragab and as witty as Brad Pitt. Speaking of Brad Pitt, I want to conclude with a little anecdote. While handsome actors in our part of the world are called “the screen's first boy”, in the West they call them heartthrobs. Had there been any real justice, I would have been the screen's first heartthrob boy, which is what I managed to do one day, when I sneezed very loudly behind a young lady on the street. She was scared and jumped, then looked at me and said smilingly: “you made my heart jump!” I apologized to her and said: “I wish it were my heart and not yours”.
