Flirt in Egyptian dialect, trade in Syrian, ally with in Lebanese (everyone has a second allegiance there), fight in Maghrebian, oppose in Kuwaiti, and negotiate in Qatari dialect. Today, I intend to write about flirting, in continuation of my article yesterday about Nicolas Sarkozy, Carla Bruni and their alleged respective lovers. I am inclined to believe the presidential couple in denying the rumours and I wonder: for how can the President flirt with a minister, and how can the First Lady flirt with a singer? Does he tell her or does she tell him, when they are in a dark place away from the watchful eyes of their guards: I do not need sunlight, the light of your eyes is enough for me? Or does the mistress begin flirting by saying: Mr. President...and then the rest gets spoiled by formalities? Perhaps flirting such as: O Pudding, my cream, I would die kneeling, May you burry me, May you burry my bones [sic]...has been made obsolete by modern technology. This is because the lover who used to kneel on his knees and express his emotions and his love to his mistress (in a literary language), now sends her a fax or a short text message instead. Regarding the French scandal, there is a side that escaped the attention of the gossipers behind the rumours: those involved in the scandal are all intellectuals. However, I thought that the intellectual is someone who believes that there are things more important than sex, or someone who always thinks about it but conceals it and fails, because the head is the wrong place for sex. Nicolas Sarkozy was not caught in the act with Chantal Jouanno, nor was Carla Bruni caught with Benjamin Biolay. For this reason, they all denied the rumour and threatened to go to court. Had they been caught like Tiger Woods was, the second line of defence, thanks to modernity, would have been for the offender to claim that he or she is suffering of sex addiction, and then seeking therapy or going to rehab for treatment, just like the golf champion and other celebrities did before. But what does a sex addict say? He probably claims that he is unfairly accused, because he only likes two kinds of women, local and imported. Aside from the French rumour, there is the known story of Bill Clinton and Monica Lewinsky and also that of John Profumo and Christine Keeler before them. Nevertheless, the American and British press treat the subject as though it is as important as the U.S-Russian Arms Reduction Pact, publishing a new news story, report or statistics every day, while the Times weekend supplement dedicated ten pages for stories about women in their forties and sixties and love in old age. There were also news stories published every day in the New York Times and the Washington Post about the scandal/rumour, alongside stories about the war in Afghanistan and the Polish President's plane crash. I did not learn anything important from all what I read, or something that could benefit the reader should he ‘blindly fall in the honey trap'. According to statistics, the average divorce age for men is 43 years and for women 40 years. Meanwhile, a survey showed that it takes 17 months and 26 days to get over a marriage split. However, I do not understand the finiteness of this figure, because if the surveyors added only four days, they could have come up with a figure that is easier to memorize which is 18 months, or one year and a half. I know a divorced beauty who remained pretty after turning forty and even fifty, and even the pockets that appeared under her eyes seemed to have been made by Louis Vuitton. While I am being humorous, I find humour better than studies that I consider doubtful about women and men, or that I find suspicious, even if they are plausible, such as: Why do women have sex? Or, American women and the Miranda Complex- as some women deny that they earn higher so men would not feel inferior- or that French women, and not men, are now initiating harassment, and how women pick maters or flings. The above is not useful for anything except that it provides work for those who write reports or conduct surveys, and all I know without much analysis is that women tell men yes only once, when they are being proposed to. Nonetheless, there are lucky men who marry a woman for love and then discover that her father is a millionaire. In my experience at work, I find that the married man is better than the bachelor, because he knows how to execute orders, does not want to go home early and shuts up if you yell at him. Perhaps husbands in the west are oppressed at home; however, this does not apply to Arab husbands, who are cats in the street but tigers at home, and perhaps the only compensation for Arab women is when they become widows. This is the truth; but as the joke goes, a man was an atheist before marrying and did not believe in hell, but after getting married he became a believer in it. Now, he is afraid of reincarnation, and believes that if he should return to life as a dog, his wife will return as a flea. In the meantime, I am following the news of the French scandal, which did not take place, and I pray for Carla to have some peace of mind, and for Sarko to get what he deserves. [email protected]
